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Facts. Right.
As she recalled the previous night, all gushy thoughts fled. A shiver coursed through her. “This morning, I had a nightmare that woke me up.” She pursed her lips in thought. “Actually, I’m not sure if it was the dream that woke me or the phone. Either way, I woke up, and it was three twenty-two in the morning.”
The glowing numbers on her bedside clock were seared in her brain. That was the exact time she had recognized the song.
“It was silent on the other end, and I was about to hang up. But then I heard this soft hum. It sounded familiar, but I couldn’t quite place it. And when it got a little louder...” Ice crept down the back of her neck, and she wrapped her arms around her middle. “I knew. I got scared. Really, really scared. I remember slamming down the phone. And then I just sort of...”
“Sort of what?”
She opened her mouth, but no words came. Her eyes dropped to her clenched hands.
In her peripheral vision, she saw him push his notepad aside. He leaned forward with his elbows on his desk. “Sweetheart, look at me.” She did. “Alex, tell me what happened next.”
Please don’t think I’m a complete nut job.
Her teeth caught her bottom lip, and she waved helplessly. “I sort of, I don’t know, checked out...”
She tried to gauge his reaction. Unfortunately for her, he had an excellent poker face.
“Sometimes when Preston would hit me, when it got really bad, I would make myself check out.” Damn. There was no way around it. She sounded batshit crazy, even to herself. “I guess what I mean is if I concentrated really hard on something, like a painting or a doorknob or whatever, I could make myself mentally leave the situation I was in.”
She shifted in her seat, her gaze everywhere but on Quinn.
And now for the extra crazy part...
“Toward the end—the last three months, especially—it seemed like everything I did made him snap. My mind would automatically check itself out, so I don’t really remember what happened during that time. It’s all... hazy. But maybe my subconscious does?” She shrugged. “I’ve had some crazy nightmares. They’re always a jumbled mess, but so damn vivid.”
Too vivid.
She could still feel the blood trickling from her body, her lungs seizing after being punched in the stomach. Her nightmares were pure chaos, but they feltsoreal. When she was in them, she never knew what was imagined and what was remembered.
“The end of the nightmares is always the same. He always stabs me. Over and over and over again.” She shook her head, hoping to clear it, but the images remained. “Sorry, I’m rambling.” She sat taller in the uncomfortable chair. “So yeah, I guess when things get to be too much, my head knows its own limit and shuts down. Does that make any sense?”
“It does.” His deep voice was steady, and his expression was relaxed. “And you’re not crazy, sweetheart. I can see that’s what you’re thinking. What your mind does is completely normal. It’s self-preservation at the body’s most basic and instinctual level.”
She released the breath she’d been holding. Though she was certain he didn’t know it, his calm, matter-of-fact explanation had helped soothe her frayed nerves.
Glancing down, her eyes caught on Quinn’s white knuckles. He was holding his pencil in a death grip. He was keeping his anger in check.
For her.
A grateful smile lifted her lips. The man would never understand how much she appreciated him in that moment.
“So, after the last phone call,” he continued, “was it an automatic thing, or did you make yourself check out?”
“Automatic.”
“Why, Alex? What did you hear on the other end?”
Fear dried her throat.
“The song,” she whispered.
His gray eyes implored her to continue.
“Preston is a big Elvis fan, basically because people call himthe King.Our wedding song was ‘Can’t Help Falling in Love.’You know, the ‘fools rush in’ song? He thought it was apropos to our relationship. He talked about how he thought of me every time he heard it. How he felt it represented our love. How us loving each other was as natural and meant to be as the rivers flowing to the sea.”
And she’d fallen for that cheesy bullshit. Hook, line, and sinker.
