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But he knew that relationships—or hookups, whatever this was—were supposed to be coy and sexy. He just…didn’t know how to do that. He’d never known how to do that. It was why he was standing there in front of the only other person who had ever tried to get close to him.
“Talk to me,” Caleb said, his face soft and kind. “Did I do something wrong?”
Bodhi quickly shook his head and bit his lip. “I don’t know.”
“You don’t know what you want, or you don’t know if I did something wrong?”
“The first one.”
Caleb’s mouth lifted into a gentle smile, and he finished closing the distance between them. “Start simple.” He accompanied the sign with a wrinkled nose which Bodhi wanted to lean forward and kiss.
“Simple,” Bodhi repeated, spelling the word to make sure he had the right one, and Caleb nodded. “I want to have an orgasm.”
Caleb laughed and nodded. “Yes.”
“I want…” Bodhi’s hands froze in the half-claw motion.
“I’m listening.” Caleb signed it the way Bodhi had seen Ravi’s friends do—listening by his eye, not his ear.
Bodhi didn’t answer him. Not with signs. Not with words. He answered him in touch—pressing his palms to Caleb’s bare chest, thumbing his nipples. He watched Caleb’s body react, and his dick gave a twitch in his pants, his lips parting on a breath, his eyelids drooping.
Trailing his hands down Caleb’s arm, Bodhi picked up his lover’s hand by the wrist and placed it over where he was hard. Caleb wasted no time, cupping him and stroking him gently.
It wasn’t enough. It wasn’t nearly enough. When Bodhi jerked off, he squeezed hard, moved fast. But this wasn’t meant to get him anywhere. It was the perfect tease.
“I want to know how to touch you to make you come,” Bodhi admitted when Caleb finally caught his gaze again. “I want to know what you like.”
For a moment, he thought Caleb might argue and try to put all the attention on Bodhi which would have overwhelmed and ruined him. But he didn’t. He just nodded and took a fortifying breath before pulling away and walking to the nightstand.
He glanced over his shoulder, then signed, “Get on the bed,” before opening a drawer.
Bodhi obeyed, though he was unable to take his eyes off Caleb and his knee slipped, almost sending him to the floor before he was able to get situated. It felt right being in Caleb’s bed again. It felt like a second chance. Or maybe a third? He wanted the both of them to get it right this time.
He knew their relationship would always have bumps—there would always be bruises. Their minds were fundamentally different in ways that could never be adjusted.
But they could try.
Bodhi wanted to try.
He tracked Caleb’s movements, focused first on what Caleb was holding, though he couldn’t see much, then on his body which was held tight with a line of tension that hadn’t been there before. Bodhi wanted to check in, to ask if he was okay because he knew he wasn’t alone in the stress of the day, but then he caught the hungry look on Caleb’s face and he didn’t need interpretation to understand it.
Caleb was nervous. And he was horny.
He wanted Bodhi. And maybe he was afraid of doing something wrong.
“I like to bottom,” Caleb said. He spelled it out with slow letters. “I know you’re not ready for that tonight.”
Bodhi nodded, slightly confused because if Caleb knew that, why was he bringing it up?
“I’d like you to play with my ass tonight.”
Bodhi’s entire body erupted with heat, and it took him a second to get his head to stop spinning and hands to stop shaking long enough to ask, “How?”
“With your fingers,” Caleb answered him—plainly and simply, the way Bodhi needed. “Or with a toy. Whatever you want. I just want you to touch me.”
Bodhi forced himself to inhale when he realized he was holding his breath. It was only half-voluntary, kind of the way he used to do when he was a kid, but he was determined not to pass out in Caleb’s bed.
“After that, I’m going to suck you until you come,” Caleb went on.
