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Jasmine nods, clearly taking what he’s saying seriously. This is a lot of information when she’s already confused and hurting for some reason. The doctor’s words hang heavy in the room and the few moments of silence are thick with emotion.
I can’t stand not touching her any longer. I reach across the small space between us and take her hand. She doesn’t fight me, which I’m incredibly grateful for. My voice is trembling as I look at her. “I’m here, Jazz, and I’ll be here every step of the way. If you want to get the memories back we’ll go to therapy together. If you want to go alone, I’ll wait in the lobby. If you want to let the memories go and move on with your life, we can do that too. It’s up to you and whatever you want to do.” She meets my eyes with a mixture of fear and gratitude in her expression. She gives me a slight nod of acknowledgement, a single tear escaping her expressive eyes.
We ask a few more questions before we’re cleared to go. My mind races as I face the difficult road ahead of us. I thought we were over the hard part. I was wrong. It seems this will take a while longer. I’m not upset that it’s taking my time. I’m hurting because Jasmine’s the strongest woman I know and she’s beating herself up over this, upset with what she’ll deem as not being a hundred percent whole. I hate that she’s feeling this way.
We move to the car and I help her inside, reluctantly taking my hand from hers and closing the door. I jog around, deciding how long to wait before bringing anything up. She gazes out the side window, so I wait. I start the vehicle and head down the road. Maybe it will be better to get home where we have total privacy.
She doesn’t say a single word to me on the drive home, breaking my heart. I’ve always been able to help her, but for some reason it doesn’t seem there’s anything I can do right now. I hate this so damn much.
Thirty minutes later we get home, and Jasmine walks ahead of me into the condo complex. We go inside and she rushes straight to our bedroom and closes the bathroom door. I move to the kitchen to make a fresh pot of coffee and warm some rolls in the oven. I pull out butter and fresh jam, cheese, fruit, and then the rolls. I put it all together and wait for her to come back out.
After twenty minutes, I’m pacing as I sip on black coffee and try to calm my nerves. In all reality the coffee most likely isn’t helping. When she stands in the doorway, it kills me to see the distance in her eyes as if she’s trying to protect herself.
“Please tell me what’s upset you,” I beg.
She moves over to the breakfast bar and picks up her freshly made coffee and takes a sip. She grabs a biscuit and slabs on a thick layer of butter and jam. She takes a bite and chews before speaking.
“I saw the text message. I’ve been trying to process it,” she tells me.
I look at her with confusion. “Message?”
“From the FBI.”
My heart thunders. I forgot all about it while at the doctor’s office. I forgot about the message after looking at it. I was too busy trying to figure out what upset Jasmine. I should’ve realized that’s what it was, since my phone was right by her.
“I’m hurt that you changed your mind and didn’t bother telling me,” she says, her voice choked with emotion. “It’s not that I’d ever ask you to stay when you want to go, but I thought you’d tell me... especially with everything going on.”
“I planned on telling you what was happening, but I’ve been... confused. I was going to tell them I’m quitting, but then I spoke with Rick and James and I was confused...” I trail off, realizing I sound like I’m making excuses, which to be honest, I am.
“I get that, Hunter. But I don’t get you shutting me out of this. I’ve been fully honest with you, even with having amnesia,” she says, some of her fire coming back. I’d much rather see her mad than upset... any day of the week.
“I didn’t mean to shut you out. I didn’t realize this would be so damn hard,” I admit.
She looks so utterly sad, it’s killing me. “Your job means something to you, Hunter. If it’s bothering you this much, youhaveto take the job. I insist.”
I shake my head. “Didn’t you pay attention to what the doctor said? We need to stick together to get you healthy.”
“No, it doesn’t have to beyouhelping me. I have a hundred family members who will help. I want you to take the job. As a matter of fact, I want you to pack a bag right now and leave. You won’t go if I don’t make you, and this means too much to you to stay. I’ll be fine. I’ll be here when you get back. You aren’t welcome here until this mission is over though.”
She’s so firm in her decision there’s not a single thing I can say to change her mind. That doesn’t mean I won’t try. I slowly move up to her but she holds out a hand to stop me. I realize how utterly fragile she is. It’s a rare thing with this woman because she’s so damn strong. But right now she looks like anything at all can break her. I won’t be the one to push her over the edge of the cliff she’s barely balancing on.
She picks up her phone and dials. “Ember, can you come over now?” Ember’s back in town but has been staying at a luxury hotel to give Jasmine and me alone time... and possibly to see the guy from the club. We aren’t totally sure.
“Yes, of course.”
“Thanks, see you soon.” Jasmine hangs up and looks at me.
“Okay, I won’t be alone. You have ten minutes to leave,” she tells me, her voice firm, her face resigned.
“No, Jasmine, I’m not leaving like this,” I say, trying to sound as firm as she is.
“Hunter, please go. Please love me enough to do this. I don’t want to fall apart, and I need you to leave right now.”
“Jasmine,” I plead one more time but she refuses to look at me. She gazes down at the counter as she sips her coffee and eats her roll. I know she needs time. I’m not sure how much. I’m not sure she’ll take me back if I don’t take this mission. I’m more confused than ever before.
I turn and leave the room. I walk into our bedroom and pack a bag. I don’t take much because Iwillbe coming back. I can take this mission, give her what she thinks she wants, and then I can quit. I’m not sure if that’s what I’m going to do or not. I’m not sure of anything right now.
I walk back into the kitchen and slowly approach her. She’s tense as I lean down and kiss her cheek. She doesn’t say a word to me. I slowly turn and walk out of her condo, feeling like my heart’s going to shatter. This might be the worst day of my life. I want to go numb, pray that’s what will happen.
