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“Look at me.” The serious tone of my voice makes her instantly look up. “You’re a justice dealer.”
Her brows pinch together as confusion mars her features. “What—?”
“You took Ericson’s life in that alley because he needed to die,” I tell her. “Revenge, justice, balancing the scales… However you want to define it, it’s in your makeup, your DNA. From the first moment you fought back against a bully on a playground, you knew your course, Blakely.” I expel a heavy breath, softening my tone as I raise my hand to push the hair away from her face. “There was a moment, somewhere before we met, that you questionedwhennotifyou’d ever take a life. You knew at some point, revenge wouldn’t be enough.”
She’s still—too still—some mix of fear and shock and maybe even relief washing over her. I release her, removing my arms to give her space, but stay close.
She doesn’t deny what I’ve said. I know this about her, because I’ve studied her psychopathy and her personality type, and yes, there’s a chance Blakely never would’ve committed murder.
But there’s a greater chance she would have.
And in that event, she wouldn’t have had the emotions and self-preservation to protect herself.
After a tension-filled beat where we gauge each other, the silence declaring all the confessions either of us refuse to reveal, she swallows, blinking as she resurfaces from the turmoil of her thoughts.
“I always thought I could stop myself,” she confesses.
I inhale deeply, her scent abrasive as I sear it into my lungs. “You might have.”
“I’ll never really know, though, will I,” she says. “Not now.”
But she does know. And I deserve all her outrage and condemnation, but I’m not the only bad guy in her life.
I’ll let her use me as her punching bag, though. Whatever she needs. She can put all the blame on me, and I’ll take it for her. Just like I’ll take the pain she needs to inflict so she can make love.
“No matter what you chose to do in a nanosecond in that alley,” I say, “the fact of the matter is Ericson was the real monster. He never would’ve been prosecuted, maybe never even seen the inside of a court room. He never would’ve stopped hurting women until someone stopped him. Permanently.”
She rubs the fresh bruises wrapping her wrist, her gaze cast downward. As she brings her eyes up to meet mine, my chest is hit with the impact of her softness, the cruel vulnerability she now suffers, leaving her open and exposed.
“You were saving a life,” I say to her, trying to reach her. “You’ve been so focused on the life you took, you never think about the life you saved that night.”
Her gaze shimmers with the wetness of unshed tears, and I ache for her, wanting to bring her into me, but scared to lose this moment.
She blinks, then wipes away the trail of tears streaking her cheeks. “I hate this feeling,” she admits. “I want to turn it off.”
I cup her face and stroke my thumb across the fresh stream of tears. “You saved her life,” I say again, because she needs to hear it. “So I won’t let you lose yours.”
Inhaling a shuddering breath, she pulls away and tucks her hair behind her ears. Just like that, Blakely has learned how to transition her emotions. “And then what? After we complete this insane plan of yours, Grayson just simply disappears from our life?”
The way she saysour lifegives me a deranged level of hope I’ll keep fighting for.
I stay honest. “Grayson is more of an obstacle, more of a threat to us than Brewster. He needs to be removed.”
A spark of understanding lights her eyes as she stands before me. “If you get rid of Grayson, then you have to get rid of London.”
I nod once. “I’ve considered that.”
“She might be an innocent,” she says, crossing her arms to shield herself. “Sometimes, women can’t help who they fall for.”
I read too much into that statement. She notices, and glances away.
“Grayson, London, Brewster…” I trail off, my gaze dropping to her mouth, her body a seductive lure as she allows me to draw her seamless against me. “All obstacles have to be removed.”
After a tense heartbeat where we stand locked together, she finally connects with my gaze. “I’ll help you get rid of Grayson. I’ll help you remove all the obstacles. Then you’re going to fix me, Alex. Whatever the risk.”
I touch her cheek, skimming the backs of my fingers across her delicate skin. “That’s a cost too high.”
She grabs my hand. “That’s the price you pay for playing God.”
