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“And I bet that just tears the wound wide open.”
“Give me a reason,” I demand.
Reason at least provides logic. Something I can assess, measure, comprehend.
Without reason, we’re no better than animals. Beasts that tear each other apart for flesh and blood.
He narrows his eyes curiously. “Dr. Jenkins was a parasite,” he says, his voice devoid of any emotion, as if he’s simply stating a fact. “Her ego destroyed her long before I put an icepick through her skull. But that’s not why you’re here, stalking a woman you tortured. Your lust for revenge died the moment she flew into your orbit. So put your pathetic attempt to inflate your ego away. It’s weak.”
Blood roars in my ears. Every charged cell in my body wants to destroy him.
And yet, despite my indignant response to his assertion, I’m furious that he’s right. My project stopped being about trying to avenge my sister and restore her name, and became all about my obsession with Blakely.
With forced conviction, I ease the blade of the scalpel away from his neck. A hairline bead of red remains on his skin. The overworked muscles of my forearm seize, and I drop the scalpel. It clatters loudly as it hits the floor between us.
“You at least owe me a quick death,” I say.
Amusement lights his features. “A martyr killer,” he says, lowering his own weapon. “I believe that’s an oxymoron.”
The strap across my forehead slackens as my neck relaxes. “It was never my intention to take a life.”
“Lives,” he corrects. Then he removes the needle from my arm, placing the syringe on the gurney. “After one failed attempt, you couldn’t stop.”
I don’t miss his distinction betweendidn’tandcouldn’t. I didn’t have the choice to stop; I couldn’t have stopped the pursuit of my project for anyone.
Until her.
“It’s the ripple effect,” I say. “Theoretically, it was your actions that killed my subjects. They should be stacked against your body count.”
He raises his chin, watching me with stone-cold eyes. “Choicekilled your subjects. Your choice.”
I turn my head away and stare at the dilapidated and stained ceiling. “So is this my punishment or confession?” I ask, my tone thick with sarcasm.
“You will find no absolution here.” Grayson rolls the chair closer and makes himself comfortable, despite his words. “You have one chance to convince me why I shouldn’t throw the switch on this crude machine and walk away, letting you fry to a crisp.”
A sense of strange irony fills me. I should be quaking with fear, knowing the countdown on my clock is almost up. Grayson doesn’t spare his victims. He’s here to tie up a loose end, a variable he couldn’t have predicted when he killed my sister.
My actions forced him to hunt me quickly, not giving him adequate time to observe me, to develop a punishment tailored to my “sins”. Therefore, he wants me to provide the details for my own torturous death.
A mocking laugh slips out. “I didn’t think you were a liar.”
He doesn’t respond. He doesn’t have to.
Maybe it would be amusing to retrace my fumbling steps that brought me here. Why not? My last seconds should be given to Blakely, recounting our time together.
“Initially,” I say, “it was all for Mary. I was devoted to my purpose, to restore what you destroyed.”
“My psychologist would say you dissociated. Because deciding to experiment on people in the name of science, that’s right out of a Mary Shelley novel.”
“Oh, and torturing them with medieval devices for your own sick need is completely rational.” I turn my head to see a dark smile slant his mouth.
“We all have sick needs to fulfill,” he says. “Don’t fool yourself.”
An image of Blakely in the stairwell of my cabin flashes to mind. Shirt parted open, exposing the delicate swell of her breasts. Her green eyes large and imploring. Her body trembling beneath my exploratory touch.
Despite my ethical convictions that she was my subject, I craved her so badly it drove me mad.
I decide not to argue his point. “The project evolved. It became about needing to cure her for myself. So she could…”Love mesounds painfully pathetic, even if it’s true. “So she could have the capability to love.”
