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“I know,” I snap, interrupting her. Suddenly, I feel territorial, hearing her talk about him, as if I have no idea who Ronan is or what he’s like.
She looks affronted for a moment, her eyes widening, but then she relaxes her expression and gives me a nod. So, I continue.
“I know how selfless he is. I know what he’s capable of. We both tried to stay away from each other, and I really don’t give a shit about his money. Yes, we enjoy it because we can, but if Ronan woke up without a dime to his name tomorrow, I’d still love him.”
My eyes widen, and I stare at her with shock at the words that just came out ofmymouth.
She’s wearing a shocked expression as well. “Does he know how you feel?”
I grab the glass of wine from the table and nearly gulp it down.
“No,” I say after the glass is empty.
I should be happy or excited about this revelation. I do love him, and it’s not really all that surprising. Ronan didn’t just capture my heart; he ruthlessly stole it right out of my chest. He didn’t even have to try. He did it by being genuine. By just being him.
He might be the best person I’ve ever met in my life.
No, he is. He definitely is.
So why am I filled with dread and anxiety?
Because I’m lying to him. Every single day I’m lying by omission because of this secret that I’ve held on to since the moment I started working at Salacious. It was fine then because there was no reason for me to come forward, but now…
Now I love him. And I’m going to lose him.
“Are you worried about what people will think? He’s a lot older than you,” Eden says, her scrutinizing gaze on my face.
“A little,” I reply, which is the truth. Ronan is older than my dad, a detail I’m sure my dad won’t love whenever I do introduce the two. But my mind won’t even let me get that far, because Ronan will never meet my dad. The minute Ronan finds out about my mom and the fact that I know they were together and have known this entire time, he’ll be done with me.
Just thinking about that makes it hard to breathe.
“Are you okay?” Eden asks, her eyes narrowing on my face.
I force myself to nod, shoving away the dark thoughts and pasting a fake smile on my face. “Yeah. I’m fine.”
“So…” she says, refilling my glass. “You love him, huh?”
My fake smile slowly morphs into a real one. “Don’t tell him I said that,” I reply, chewing on my bottom lip.
“You got it.”
For a moment, we sit in comfortable silence, and I let my gaze scan the room, then her. Eden is not like anyone I’ve ever met, but in some strange way…she reminds me of my mother. My mom was headstrong like Eden, unafraid to take what she wanted and say what was on her mind. It makes me miss her, a lot.
So, for a moment, I imagine it’s my mom sitting across the couch, sharing a glass of wine with me, talking casually about the man I’m dating and seriously falling for. It feels so natural, putting her in this scenario.
“Have you ever been in love before?” I ask, making conversation.
Eden’s face takes on a surprised expression. “Yikes, no.”
A laugh bubbles out of me. “No? Never?”
“Never. Love is a trap—no offense—and not one I ever plan to be caught in.”
My body sinks into the couch as I laugh again. Maybe it’s the wine or maybe it’s the ease of the conversation, but suddenly seeing Madame Kink as Eden, just a woman who faces the same fears and insecurities as the rest of us.
“You love Ronan, don’t you?” I ask.
She takes a sip and nods her head. “Yes, but that’s different. He’s my friend. It’s easy to love him.”
