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“Come here, Daisy.” When I turn toward Eden, I swallow at the sight of a paddle in her hand. As she approaches me, she jerks her head to the floor and I obediently lower to my knees. My eyes are still trained upward to her face as she runs her hands through my hair. “Your daddy told me you’re a brat.”
I squeak when her grip turns painful.
“I hate to hurt you. You are such a pretty little thing,” she murmurs. “You’re a beginner, so we’re going to start slow. I know Ronan went over everything, but I need to hear you say it. What should you say if you want to slow down?”
“Yellow, Madame.”
“Good girl. And if you want to stop?”
“Red, Madame.”
“Good. Now, are you ready to begin?”
“Yes, Madame.”
The corners of her mouth pull upward into a smile. “You’re a good girl for me.” Then her voice takes on a colder tone. “Now, climb onto your daddy’s lap.”
I crawl over to Ronan, climbing onto his lap, much like I was the day he spanked me in the bedroom. Just taking the same position makes my stomach flutter with excitement. He strokes my hair with one hand, holding my arms in the other.
“We’ll start with twelve. Your daddy will count.”
I find myself tensing, afraid of the pain before the paddle flies. But the moment it lands against my bare backside, I remember why I wanted this. It burns and hurts like hell, but the sudden rush of adrenaline gives me something I haven’t felt in a long time. And I don’t even know what it is yet, but I crave it like air.
“One,” Ronan grunts.
Then, Eden smacks me again, and the sting is worse this time, and a gasp slips through my lips without warning.
“Two,” he says, his voice sounding strained.
On the third hit of the paddle, my body starts tensing on its own. My stomach muscles clench, my thighs tremble, and the sex between my legs pulses.
I love it.
Is there something wrong with me for loving this so much? For acknowledging that it hurts but enjoying it for that exact reason. With each harsh swing of the paddle, it feels as if I shed a layer, freeing a part of myself I’ve been missing. And it accomplishes so many things at once.
It’s turning me on, which by the moisture between my thighs, is obvious.
But it’s also bringing me to life. Forcing a stronger, more confident and independent person out of me that I always thought I was meant to be. It replaces the pain of grief and loss with a physical pain that manifests itself into strength. I can’t face the overwhelming anguish of living without my mother, livingalone, but I can face this. I can take this.
And last, after nine swings of the paddle, I know deep down that this is my self-inflicted punishment for what I’ve done to Ronan. Deceived him. Essentially stalked him. And then let him fall in love with me. I’m breaking the one man’s heart, whose pain guts me worse than my own. I may never forgive myself for that, but at least punishing myself makes me feel better. I deserve this.
When I feel a soft hand circling my tender backside, I open my eyes. Realizing I zoned out for most of the hits, connecting only with the sting on my ass, I nearly forgot I’m not alone.
As Eden’s hand trails between my legs, sliding through the moisture of my arousal, I let out a wanton moan.
“Oh, Ronan, she’s soaked. What a dirty little girl you have.”
“Yes, I do.”
Then I feel his hand on my ass, and I come back to reality. He’s roughly massaging my flesh before giving it a light smack.
“Let’s get her up and see what else she likes,” Madame Kink says with eagerness in her voice.
It’s weird how much I like to hear them talking about me like I’m not here. Meticulously planning my punishment while I lie here silently waiting for what’s to come.
“How are you feeling, baby girl? Give Daddy a color.” With a finger under my chin, he turns my face toward him. When our eyes meet, that sense of safety washes over me.
“Green,” I reply.
