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“Then I’ll give it a read. Your mum can bring it round when she’s done with loverboy tomorrow morning.”
“Great. Thanks.”
Ramsay got bored of his aeroplane arms so Trisha walked on after him, shooting me a final glance over her shoulder.
“I’m happy you’re happy. And I’m happy your mum’s happy, too.”
“Thanks,” I said again, and watched her leave, her leopard spots already changing just a fraction in front of my eyes.
Wow. I was coming to be an optimistic person, and who’d have ever thought it when I was holed up with Scottie and Mum before things took a turn for the better? With our beach break in Tenby looming, and a night out in Worcester city, and the signs of the grand move for Julian and me on the horizon, optimism was the only thing I could know. I was blessed. And so was Mum now. Thank God, so was Mum.
Julian was waiting for me when I stepped through the door, just like always. He had a new shirt on which looked gorgeous. Dark green to match his eyes.
“Well, did you like Tom?”
I grinned my head off. “I loved him. He’s great. Really, really great. He’s even made Mum a chicken pie for dinner.”
“Excellent. I can’t wait to meet him myself.”
“Maybe later, when they’re done? I could drop Mum a message?”
His piercing eyes met mine.
“I’d love to meet your prospective stepfather, yes. He’s welcome over whenever you’d like, as is your mother.”
“Steady on!” I said, realised I’d used Julian’s favourite words and then giggled and covered my mouth – just like I always did. “I don’t think we should be buying new hats just yet. A chicken pie isn’t engagement fuel.”
“Steady on indeed,” he said, “But it’s got nothing to do with chicken pie. It’s to do withyou.With the faith shining through you, having seen him with your mother for yourself. I know you wouldn’t give that easily, sweetheart. You’ve had a lot of experience to judge it by.” He waved a finger at me. “Don’t even think of sayingthanksfor that compliment.”
I poked my tongue out. “Thanks anyway. I’ll never stop saying thanks and you know it.”
“Just as you’ll never stop pushing your glasses up your nose, no matter how fitted the frames get. It’s a tiny one of the many, many things I love about you.”
I dropped my bag on the sofa, took out my phone to type out a message to Mum, then cast my phone onto the coffee table before I dared to ask Julian the question. After his early hours admission a few nights ago, I couldn’t not…
“Have you heard anything?”
He carried on through to the kitchen, not meeting my eyes.Hurting. Scared. Heart on trial.
“No. Not yet.”
“It’s still early days, remember?”
“The postal service is very quick, Rosie, and you know it. I’m not feeling all that optimistic, but at least I can say I tried. And maybe I’ll try again one day, who knows?”
I did. And I’d be behind him every step of the way – helping him build bridges with the people he loved, just as he had with me. Feeling the pure relief of having my mum back in my life had only reinforced how much Julian must be desperate for his children, and his brother, and even some of his old friends. Damn, even Katreya, to an extent. After all, he had been ready to lose his life over losing them, and he would have done if I hadn’t knocked on his door that night.
“You could drive over there, to Oxford,” I said, but he shook his head.
“Not if it would hurt them. It could burn bridges even further, and rightly so. Screams and hurt on top of hurt is the last thing any of them need.”
“But what aboutyou? What doyouneed?”
“You,” he said simply, still trying to brave it through his pain.
The risotto was ready to prepare, ingredients laid out in the kitchen. Julian started frying it up and I put the kettle on, wrapping my arms around his waist from behind.
“It’ll be ok, you know. One day. They won’t be able to live without you for ever.”
