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“It’s going to be ok,” Julian told me again, and I believed him.
It was heaven.
He got up and held out a hand. I got a buzz, almost like static as I took hold of it. He led me through to his bedroom and I almost gasped out loud at the sight before me.
He had new bedding, pristine white cotton like the kind in hotels. He had new pillows, too. Four of them, looking big and fluffed up.
He folded back the sheets for me.
“Please, try to sleep, Rosie. Nothing can hurt you here.”
I guess the collapse of emotions really had taken it out of me, because my body defied the whirr of my brain. I was exhausted. It felt so natural to do what he instructed. He smiled down at me as I slipped under the bedcovers, but then he retreated to the doorway.
“Sleep in as long as you want. I know you don’t have work until the evening.” His eyes were so warm. “Sleep all afternoon if you want to. I’ll be out here whenever you need me.”
“Thanks,” I said again, for the thousandth time.
“You can thank me by resting up,” he replied. “You need it.”
I needed him, too.
My soul screamed as he flicked off the light and closed the door behind him, because I was desperate. I wanted more than anything for him to stay, and slide into bed with me and hold me tight. I wanted to feel him pressed against me. I wanted to hold him back.
I wanted to kiss him.And touch him. And feel his hands on me in return.
But that wasn’t going to happen – not even if I was damp, in one of his shirts, with my nipples on display.
So, I’d have to make do in his bed without him.
Sleep was easier than I expected on such comfortable pillows. I was already drifting off as I rolled onto my side.
Chapter Nine
Rosie
I always tookas many pizza shifts as I could around college, feeling way more secure when a semi-decent amount of cash landed in my account at the end of every month, but when I woke up that morning – sorry,afternoon– cosy in Julian’s new bedding, I didn’t want to leave.
I was still in my PJs when I reached my saviour’s living room, quiet as I crept in far enough to see him snoozing on the sofa. He had one of his new pillows under his head, but he was still in his suit, with no blanket to keep him warm, just his jacket draped over him. Such a contrast to the luxury he’d put me in.
I got tickles in my stomach as I remembered how good it had felt in his arms as I cried. Oh, how I’d love to squeeze up to him on the chesterfield and feel his arm draped over me, but even more, how I’d love to take his hand and pull him into his bedroom. And then what? Cuddle up to him? Snuggle up tight? Or more…?
The clench of my thighs gave me the answer.
I took a breath, still staring at him.
My emotions were calmer in the light, resigned to Scottie being back with Mum. The fear was still there though, lurking in the shadows, but Julian’s sleeping face had me transfixed.
Things would be ok. He’d told me so. I didn’t know how, or when, or why Julian would help me solve the situation, but I knew he would.
Relief was a beautiful thing – something I wasn’t usually blessed with.
I didn’t want to disturb my sleeping hero just yet, so I backed away.
I grabbed my clothes for the day, and I helped myself to a towel from the shelf in his wardrobe, caught up in a fresh round of flutters at the sight of the closed drawer underneath them. I could recall the dirty pictures and the filthy toys that lay hidden in there with perfect vision. My curiosity was growing, not waning, and my need for Julian – the filthy man upstairs – was hyping up on overdrive… hence why once again I didn’t lock the bathroom door behind me, just in case.
I couldn’t hold back a grin when I pulled back the shower curtain, because woah, oh my God. There was no way Julian needed the bottles of coconut shampoo and conditioner that had appeared on the shelf, and he definitely didn’t need the three-minute hair mask. Somehow, I also struggled to imagine him using bubble gum scented body wash, but there they all were – lined up on the rack that had previously been empty.
I stripped off my PJs, and stepped under the flow, examining the bottles one by one as I used them. They were great, and my hair felt fresh and smooth as I washed it clean. He’d picked well for me.
