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“What food?”
“Mom’s lunch meat and sausage. He comes back every day, and I take care of him.”
Frowning, I don’t like how Meadow’s been sneaking around in these woods. I couldn’t handle if she got hurt. Preparing to ground her and do other parental punishment stuff, I look into her eyes and see her mom.
“I named him Panini,” Meadow says, staring at me in the same way Xenia does when she’s hurting.
My daughter is such a beautiful little girl. Her smile is magic, capable of bringing me out of my worst moods. I love my daughter with everything I am. If she got killed by a feral stray, I doubt I could survive the guilt or grief.
“Go to the kitchen to get leftover turkey.”
Meadow’s expression twists up. She looks at the dog and then at me. That’s the moment when I know she fears the kind of man I am. Not that she thinks I’ll ever hit or abuse her. But she isn’t a dumb kid. Meadow knows I’m not a normal guy. Deep down, she understands how I’m a man of violence.
“Daddy,” she whispers, fighting sobs.
Settling on the ground, I tap her hand and say, “Go get the turkey.”
Meadow wears the same shocked look her mom does when afraid. When I tell her to go, she runs full sprint toward the house. I imagine her hurting herself in her rush to return and protect the mangy animal watching me right now.
My baby girl is out of breath and choking on her sobs when she comes running back. Meadow stumbles over her feet, nearly falling as she reaches me. I sweep her into my lap like I did her mom so many years ago.
“Why this dog?” I ask as she looks over her shoulder to see if I’ve killed the animal.
Choking from her rapid breathing, Meadow struggles to answer. I wrap my arms around her fragile body as she accepts the dog is still alive. Her daddy didn’t do anything that couldn’t be undone.
“It’s not his fault he’s ugly,” she says between sobs. “He’s just got bad luck.”
“Did you think I was going to kill your dog friend?” I ask as I wipe her tears.
Meadow doesn’t want to answer, and I don’t make her. She knows I will hurt people to protect her. Of course, she would figure I’d do the same thing to a dangerous animal. Maybe I should end that mangy mutt, but I’m weak with Meadow like I am with her mom.
That’s why I take the turkey and toss a piece halfway between the wary dog and us.
“Panini might like you,” I explain as Meadow settles her tears. “But he doesn’t know me. Let’s sit here while he figures things out.”
Right then, my daughter rewards me with a smile as lovely as her mom’s. Meadow rests her head on my shoulder and watches the dog.
“Thank you, Daddy,” she whispers as if I’ve saved her delicate heart from unbearable pain.
We hunker down for a while as Panini inches closer to us, lured by Meadow’s soft voice. After Xenia finds us out back, she sits next to me and remains silent about the ugly ass dog and her missing lunch meats.
My woman understands the situation without me explaining anything. Meadow inherited Xenia’s love for the discarded and unloved, which is why we’re soon the owners of the ugliest fucking dog on the planet.
Panini isn’t so bad once he gets cleaned up and gains a little meat on his bones. He doesn’t mess with the chickens and has no interest in the cats. The dog only wants to be close to his people. He’ll follow me around the property all day, waiting for Meadow to return home from school.
I don’t blame Panini for getting attached. Xenia and Meadow have a way of soothing old scars and easing long-held fears.
That’s why I never miss my untamed ways. Xenia stole my ability to be happy without her. I need to wake up knowing she’s nearby. I can’t survive a single day without hearing her voice. I never want to see tomorrow if I know she won’t share it with me.
Before I met Xenia, I’d been so certain my life was perfect. The Valley was my home, my family, my friend, everything I needed.
Except it wasn’t enough once I caught sight of a sad-eyed woman and decided to create our own piece of heaven.
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THE END
