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“You got too big,” she replies. “You can’t control all that mass.”
Pushing his thick, blond hair out of his face, he mutters, “I’m never going on a diet.”
“Don’t get scrawny, man,” Smokey says and runs his fingers through his reddish-brown hair. “We need you big and scary in fights.”
Goose tilts back the ball cap covering her short, red hair and frowns. “But he’s got no balance.”
“What does he need balance for?”
“For this goofy thing he’s trying.”
Yagger strolls out back with his shoulder-length, blond hair hanging in his face. “If Walla Walla stopped trying something new, his problem would be solved.”
Stepping onto the deck, I throw in my two cents. “I agree with the naysayers. No one needs to do that stuff. Wait, are you dating that hippie chick again?”
“No, I’m trying to get in touch with my inner something or other.”
“Can’t you do that without tipping over?” I ask as I walk past Walla Walla. “Meditation works just as good, and you won’t need balance.”
“That’s wisdom right there,” Walla Walla says as I disappear inside. “He shows up, showers us with his sage words, and then returns to the wild.”
Ignoring their chuckles, I walk to my room located on the first floor of the two-story former lodge. My space is comfortable. I ought to want to be here rather than roaming the Valley’s rocky landscape.
Except being at the Pigsty around my people stirs up too many bad memories. I don’t want to struggle.Why look at ugly shit if I can’t change it?
After soaping up, I let the hot water wash away a few days of rough living. No matter how much I try, I can’t stop thinking of Xenia. This obsession reminds me of when I found a cool marble as a kid. For months, I sat staring at that thing day in and out. I loved imagining what the world might look like from inside the marble. I’d still be looking at it these days if a bully hadn’t stolen it from me in the fourth grade.
People stopped taking my shit when I hooked up with Ruin, Nomad, Walla Walla, and the rest of the group. Not that we were all that impressive back then.
Walla Walla was too tall and always forgot to duck when he entered a room.
Uncomfortable in his big body, Nomad was moody as fuck.
Eagle couldn’t climb out of his head long enough to talk to anyone.
Tomcat got obsessed with pussy and refused to think of much else.
Armor and Goose, well, they were like me, just wanting a taste of the good life—a hot meal, a clean bed, and a safe space.
Then, there was Ruin who had the good life handed to him on a silver platter. Nothing went wrong for him. I bet even as a little boy he was plotting to take over this town. He’s always got a plan brewing.
Banding together gave us power. We weren’t badasses, but we fought mean. Hit one of us and the others would chase you down. Even my sister and Wynonna got into the action. I remember the day they threw rocks at a couple of vengeful bitches who tripped Walla Walla.
Though we were mostly a bunch of weirdoes, our crew built a reputation.
I wonder if Xenia’s heard about it by now. If I weren’t chickenshit, I might drop by her shop and talk her up. See what she knows. Figure out her story. Become that good friend I claim I am.
The problem is as soon as we share a space, I’m overwhelmed by the intense desire to move closer. My fingers burn from wanting to touch her. I feel emptied out in a way that reminds me of being a kid going without.
Better to wonder about her than feed that painful need. At least, that’s what I’ve told myself the last week as I only peeked in on her life from afar.
Downstairs, I check the fridge to see what I can fill up on before I head back out into the hot day.
“Smokey’s new college girlfriend made us Brazilian soup last night,” Tomcat says from the couch and pops a peanut in his mouth. “It doesn’t look like much but tastes good. A little spicy, though. You might not want to deal with the shits when you’re out in the woods.”
I ignore him chuckling at the thought of me with diarrhea. Warming a bowl of the tomato and rice concoction, I look over my club brother. Tomcat inherited his bitch mom’s pretty face and his dad’s strong yet wiry build.
“Saw your dad at the new coffee shop,” I tell him. “It was good of Glenn to help out.”
