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Irina smiles at the idea in the same way Xenia did earlier. For whatever reason, chicks think picnics are romantic.
“Xenia likes turtles,” I say, and Eagle grins. “Seems like that’s worth something.”
Eagle rubs his jaw and mentions, “Even if her business fails, there are plenty of opportunities around McMurdo Valley. Especially for someone with a friend like you.”
“She can cook. Worked in her family’s restaurants. She seems smart about that stuff.”
Irina watches me in a weird way, maybe seeing something on my face. Finally, she says, “A woman will put up with a lot to be with the man she wants.”
“What’s that mean?” I ask, getting my back up.
“It’s means she might lose her business and end up working in a job she doesn’t love. But if she has you to come home to, she’ll still be happy.”
“What kind of home?” I mutter, already feeling pressured. “I’m not a man who wants to be trapped by a roof and four walls.”
“Do you feel trapped in here?” Eagle asks and looks at the wall of windows.
“I don’t know. I feel that way at the Pigsty.”
“Your room doesn’t have a good view,” Eagle insists. “Mine did. I fought hard for it because I didn’t like being anywhere dark. This house is designed so I’ll never feel like I’m stuck in a basement. You could build your house to be any way you want. That’s true, even if you don’t end up with Xenia.”
“What do I need a house for?”
“You don’t really want to be seventy and sleeping on the hard ground, do you?”
“Sure.”
Eagle grins. “I always figured you’d build yourself a place that gave you what the tent does.”
“My tent lets me move around.”
When Eagle hears me getting riled up, he wraps his woman up against him. While he ignores me, I get my head back on straight.
I remember when the club bought the lodge. The place was huge and located in a clearing surrounded by the Valley’s lushest woods. I couldn’t believe that was where I’d call home.
The high ceilings and view from the family room kept me happy for a while. Maybe I got smothered or I might have just worried about going soft. These days, I don’t think of the Pigsty as home.
I won’t deny how I miss the comforts of indoor plumbing and a soft bed. Or being able to watch “M*A*S*H” reruns without wandering around for a decent signal on my phone. Or eating a fine homecooked meal like Irina makes tonight.
I try picturing Xenia cooking in her tiny kitchen. At Eagle’s place, there’s plenty of workspace. Is this what Xenia wants for herself? If she stays in McMurdo Valley, she’ll want commitment. And I’m not sure I have it in myself to do more than go on picnics and show up occasionally at her shop.
My chest feels heavy when I imagine that little place shutting its doors for good. I remember the first time I walked inside. XYZ Coffee felt like a piece of Xenia’s heart was on display. She picked everything from the wall art to the chairs. The shop was her second chance and a muted dream come to life.
Now, it’s fading away. I worry one day the shuttered shop will be all that remains of Xenia in McMurdo Valley.
If she’s going to leave town and my life eventually, I’d like to make a few more good memories before she’s gone.
