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As a kid, I tried being rational with my parents and their cult. Except they were insane, and I was outnumbered. To survive, I played along. I told them I saw things. Or the trees spoke to me. Whatever bullshit would satisfy them into leaving Kourtney and me alone.
Today, I don’t have the patience to play any games. Xenia is nearby. She isn’t accustomed to crazies like these people. If she gets too scared, she might close the door on her feelings for me.
“You’ve created our messiah!” Four says and lifts her arms to sway with the trees.
Most of the cult members started off as misfits unable to find a foothold in McMurdo Valley and too poor to leave. They didn’t belong anywhere, but my father’s ideas gave them value. Suddenly, they were accepted within a select group.
Now, they’re just old fuckers, starved and gnarly from years of rough living. Four used to be a looker. I remember having a crush on her when I was eleven. She would brush my hair and offer me first dibs on her food.
Of course, Four never really cared about me. I was just a tool that my parents claimed would bring the cult to a perfect place filled with magic and beauty.
Four looks run down these days. I’m glad, too. I turned on the bitch once I caught her helping the other women try to shave Kourtney’s head. They claimed my sister’s vanity was drawing negative energy. I used to think I’d never hit a woman because they were too weak to be real threats. Once I heard Kourtney screaming, I learned I’d hit anyone under the right circumstances.
That’s why I know I’ll punch these old bitches right now. Six is dancing around in her tattered dress, singing about how they’re going through the door to the magic realm. Four remains very still, maybe sensing I’m about to go nuts on their elderly asses.
“You found your special flower,” Six says, making my skin crawl as she reminds me of my father’s ridiculous sermons. “Now, you’ve created the one who can unlock the door to the magic realm.”
Gripping my head, I nearly tear out hair. For years, I’ve gone out of my way to avoid these batshit-crazy bitches. Whenever they got too close, I’d throw grass at them and claim I’d given them cancer. My bullshit always made them run away.
But, of fucking course, as soon as I enjoy a moment of comfort with a woman I want to impress, they arrive to weird up everything.
Plus, now Xenia will see what awaits her in our future. If she keeps loving me, will she want a kid? Well, if we have a little boy, he’ll be the new “key” who unlocks the forest door to a magical realm..
“I’m going to have to kill every single one of you, aren’t I?” I ask, losing my temper as I imagine my parents somewhere in the woods, watching and stirring up trouble for me.
“Hobo,” Xenia says, stumbling out of the tent.
She isn’t wearing shoes, and I think she skipped her bra. My dick twitches when I recall the feel of her hard pink nipple in my mouth.
“The key bearer!” Six cries and skips in a circle.
Xenia doesn’t even glance at the women before tiptoeing toward me. I remember how she’d been so careful when we arrived to avoid squishing a defenseless turtle. I wonder if she’s now hoping to keep me from crushing these women under my foot.
“Are they dangerous?” she asks once in front of me.
“I said no.”
“Then why are you out here and not with me in the tent? Or we can sit outside if you’re restless. Stop wasting our date on these people.”
Xenia’s response confuses me. Maybe she’s accustomed to wackos from her time living in the city. She seems more irritated than scared.
Scolded by how simple she makes things seem, I mutter, “I want them gone.”
“Since I’m not leaving McMurdo Valley, I’m bound to see them around, right?”
“Not if I kill them all.”
“True, but you can’t do that right now in front of me,” she says and pats my cheek. “What if the cops interrogate me? I’m not ashamed to admit I’ll break under questioning. I’m easily tripped up in stressful situations. You should kill them when I’m not around to witness it and implicate you later.”
Her sincere take on the situation cracks me up. I literally throw my head back and roar with laughter at how she’s already plotting her responses to cops for a crime I haven’t even committed yet.
Six and Four love my laughter, clapping and singing about the magical realm, where they’ll live forever unburdened by this world’s evil.
Xenia, though, looks put out by my reaction.
“I can’t be the reason you get in trouble,” she says like I’m being insensitive.
Cupping her face, I kiss her forehead and each cheek. “Darlin’, if the cops ever come around you for any reason, you just call Kourtney and she’ll make them wish they’d kept their distance. My sister is a shark, always searching for her next victim.”
