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“It’s kind of like a vacation,” I began.
He glanced up at me and sighed with added drama. “I’m nearly ten, Dad. I’m not a baby.”
I caught the frustration in his eyes. At what point was it right for him to know things that impacted his life? What had he seen? Should I be asking him questions that might give me insight into why he wasn’t asking about his mom? I knew Ruth wasn’t hands-on; I knew he probably had a better relationship with the nanny Ruth’s old money paid for or, more likely, her new fiancé but, shouldn’t he be worried about her? Was that on me? I’d tried my hardest not to drive a wedge between Ben and Ruth, despite how hardsheworked on pretending she wasn’t part of Ben’s life.
There wasn’t much point in me being part of her world because I’d never brought value to the table. One month of dating and a drunken ten minutes of sex that created Ben and there was nothing the kid from the wrong side of the tracks could offer the prom queen, apart from confused shock that she’d wanted to be with me. Turned out it was a way to get Brad-the-football-guy’s attention by pretending to come on to the nerd—aka me—but the plan backfired when she realized she was pregnant. That wasn’t what I had to concentrate on today because this wasn’t about what happened back then—it was about now.
“What do you want to know?” I answered.
He heaved the sigh of the bewildered. I’d never lied to him before. I’d always been honest about how me and his mom fit into his life, and honesty was what he needed right now.
“Everything.”
“We’re here so that they can keep us safe,” I began. Safe from what, though? I didn’t know why I was here, or what in hell’s name was going on, apart from the fact that somehow Rouxier had tried to fuck with me by hiring a hooker to record us, but then the hooker was FBI, but then the FBI were the bad guys, or at least some of them were, and Sanctuary were the good guys, and so was Ethan.
Or something.
“Is Ethan the one keeping us safe? With the other men?”
“Sure.” I wasn’t lying, but I also didn’t know what was going on. Ben focused back on the book between us, and for a moment I thought the conversation was done, and I was relieved that somehow in all of that I’d put Ben’s mind at rest. I should have known better because Ben had way more questions.
“Safe from what?” he asked.
My stomach fell—swooped and churned, my chest tightening, and a brief panic stealing my words. Whowastrying to hurt us? What did Ruth know about it all, and was she putting Ben in harm’s way? Where did I start with any of this?
“I got this,” Ethan interjected and startled us both. How long had he been listening?
Oreo woke and stretched across my lap and Ben’s, but he was offering his belly for rubs, so I guess he wasn’t protecting his humans.
“It turns out your mom’s boyfriend is like the person at school who is mean to everyone,” Ethan summed up and even looked quite pleased with himself, but I knew my son, and he was way too bright to be fobbed off with analogies about school.
“I’m nearly ten,” he repeated with an impliedduhat the end.
“My bad, buddy,” Ehan said.
I pressed a kiss to the top of his head and he tried to duck away from me. “What did Mr. Rouxier do?”
Part of me—a hidden part that I would never admit to—was happy Ben didn’t call Charles Rouxier Dad, or Pops, or indeed, any variation of that.
“He’s a bad guy,” Ethan said.
Ben nodded. “He makes Mom cry sometimes, and he makes Dad angry even though Dad never tells me what he did, or even that he’s mad. He’s good at hiding stuff,” Ben glanced up at me when he talked about me.
I smiled to reassure him. Was I hiding my feelings from Ben? I’d kept him away from the standup fights I’d had with Ruth or her lawyers over my rights, or over what Ben might want.
“I’m sorry.” I apologized, because I thought Ben might need to hear that I was sorry if I kept things from him.
“Anyway, I don’t like Mr. Rouxier, he’s mean, and he shouts a lot even when he’s trying to pretend he’s a nice man.” Ben shrugged, and left the rest up to our imagination. One day, when all of this was over, I would find Charles Rouxier, and I would strangle the fucking life out of him if I found out he ever hurt Ben.
“Yeah, see? He’s a bad guy,” Ethan summarized again. “So, what we’re doing here is figuring a way to see what kind of bad stuff he’s doing, and then we’ll work out a way to stop him.”
Ben leaned into me and pressed a cheek to my chest, and I hugged him that bit tighter.
“What about Mom?” Ben asked in a small voice.
I glanced at Ethan and wondered what in God’s name we could tell Ben. Not that I had much to tell—I was as much in the dark as Ben was over what part his mom played in whatever the fuck was happening.
“Someone is keeping her safe, too,” Ethan reassured him, and even patted Ben’s knee. “She sends her love.”
