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I don't smile. I've thought the same thing, but ultimately, it's better this way. I want a wife who will not interfere with my life. Catalina calls to something inside me that feels too much like a heart.
She is dangerous. Carlotta is not. The younger sister is demur with no hidden depths like her sister, nothing to spark a passion I do not want to feel.
I am don. I do not indulge in emotions better left to others.
CATALINA
Carlotta is inconsolable tonight and insists I sleep with her. I don't mind really. We have less than three months together before her marriage. Before I leave New York for good.
I've been researching places to live. According to my sources, Mississippi has the lowest cost of living, so my nest egg would last the longest. However, Colorado and Massachusetts have the strongest job market.
I wouldn't even know to look into these things if it weren't for the online seminar I watched on setting goals and making plans to achieve them. It seemed like an infomercial for the woman's book at first, but she gave some pretty good tips.
I even read her book. On my ereader, of course. I don't need anyone in the family seeing a book like that lying around in my room.
I've read everything I can about living economically because that is not something even Zio Giovi is going to teach me. No one in my family ever has to worry about money.
Although Washington state is down the list for both affordable cost of living and job opportunities, it is still in the top ten and has the added benefit of being on the other side of the country.
My chances of disappearing are better if I go to a large city with which we have no familial or business ties. Like Seattle. There's mafia in Seattle, but they are Camorra and there's no chance I'll be recognized by someone I know there.
"Are you asleep?" Carlotta asks in the semi-dark. She insists on having a night light on tonight.
I would prefer the peace of complete darkness, but it's her room.
Turning to face her, I say. "No."
"Will my life always be like today?" she asks, her eyes growing shiny with tears.
Having just got her calmed down less than hour ago, I nearly groan, but I hold it in and force a smile. "No. Today was an anomaly."
"An anomaly we've trained for since we were children."
I can't deny that. "It's the life in the mafia."
"I don't want this life."
"You mean life in the mafia?" I've thought about taking Carlotta with me when I leave.
Only, as much as I love my sister, I don't think she is capable of living economically. She's too used to having what she wants when she wants it. The don can give her that.
"Not exactly. I love my family and friends," she says. "It's restricting being a mafia princess though. I don't want to be the don's wife."
"Are you sure about that? As his wife, you'll be the queen bee in the family. You'll be able to set fashion trends and live in a home even bigger than this one. You'll be able to go to plays and nightclubs."
"You think he's going to take me to nightclubs?" Carlotta demands, ignoring the rest because she knows it's true and the indecision on her face says she wants those things.
"Maybe not, but he'll let you make friends and as long as you don't do anything you shouldn't, I bet he'll let you go to clubs with them."
"I already have friends in the city," she says petulantly.
I smile encouragingly. "There you go then."
"I like the idea of being queen bee and all the rest," she admits and then bites her lip. "But I don't want to have to marry Severu to get it."
Part of me wants to be patient and understanding. This is my little sister and she's understandably nervous about the future. But part of me simply can't comprehend how blind she is to what a sexy and dynamic man it is she's marrying.
"You don't get one without the other," I say as consolingly as I can.
