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Chapter 1
AURORA
Smoke is sneaking up my throat, thick and bitter, burning in my nostrils and behind my closed eyes as it gives chase to each breath I try to take.
My chest hurts, and my body is shaking as nausea turns my stomach. I feel like I'm suffocating. I try to move, but my limbs are heavy.
Wake up. Wake up, dammit!
If you don't wake up, you are going to die in this bed, in this room!
My head is spinning.
Smoke.
Pungent.
Acrid.
Smoke everywhere.
I need to get out of here.
If I don't get out, I'll—
I bolt upright in bed. My body is tense like a wooden board. My legs are twisted in the sheets. My hands are trembling, and I'm covered in sweat. My long, damp waves are plastered to my neck and forehead.
Just a nightmare.
Just a stupid nightmare, Rory. Get a grip.
There's no smoke around me, but the panic that clawed its way up inside me is still there. Heavy. Thundering.
My heart is pounding, and my breath is so short every mouthful of air that goes through my lungs is painful.
You're okay.
You're okay.
I clench my fists as the dark tendrils of my dream recede and slither away, leaving me a shuddering, trembling mess.
I try to slow my breathing, my hand pressed to the middle of my chest, my heartbeat growing more and more rapid as I struggle for composure.
I tell myself I need to calm down, but it's no use.
There's no smoke around me, but I still can smell its sour, heavy phantom stench.
It's not real. It's not real, dammit!
My body doesn't seem to care about my opinion on what's real or not. My limbs are locked in a fight-or-flight response as the flashbacks from that night come unbidden, confusing swirls dancing before my mind's eye.
I try to gulp down air, but it's almost impossible with my heartbeat lodged there. Something invisible and powerful sits on my chest, heavy like a rock, unbreakable.
I need to do something, or I'm going to pass out.
I close my eyes and bring to mind one of the calming techniques I was taught in therapy many years ago.
Replace the perceived reality with real-life anchors.
