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Life without her hurts so fucking much. I have no words for it.
We only had a little over a week together in the end, but it was the best of my life. I've never known happiness the likes of which I felt inside her.
She was scared, but she showed me her heart anyway, and every glimpse I got made me love her more.
She tried to be indifferent, tried to be cold, but still, she would spend the night holding onto me as if afraid I would disappear, asking me to forgive her every time she thought I was asleep.
I need her so much, and there cannot be another.
She is the only woman I've ever shared such a connection with, and it tears me to pieces knowing it could have been so much more.
She wanted me for me.
Not for my wealth nor for my connections.
She wanted me simply for the man I am, and I love her even more for it.
I don't know how I can be so sure about these things, but I am. I feel it in my blood and in every cell of my body, just as I know that she loves me as much as I love her, even if she is gone.
I step into the hall, and my heart stops as I blink rapidly, trying to make sense of what my eyes are telling me.
There she is, as if plucked out from a dream.
Her lovely eyes, the color of a forest shaded in darkness, searching my face and shining with tears. The softness of her cheekbones flushed pink and in stark contrast with her pale skin and the long dark hair flowing unbound around her shoulders as she stands up weakly from her place, curled up on the floor, and walks toward me.
I rush to her side, my hands immediately reaching for her delicate shoulders, visible through the oversize, threadbare, light blouse she’s wearing.
She looks fragile, tired, and drained, and I can easily see dark circles under her eyes. Her lips are dry and colorless, and still, she looks stunning.
I hug her to my body, and we both shiver in relief.
“Are you okay?” I ask.
She looks up at me as if surprised I would inquire, and then she is crying in the crook of my neck, her body floating in my arms.
“Please forgive me… forgive me for hurting you like this, Derek… and for leaving.”
"Shh, sweetheart. It's okay. It's over now. You're here…"
I feel my heart clench in happiness at the thought. I don't need to ask her what it means. She is in my arms where she belongs, so we both already know.
She kisses my jaw and winds her arms around my neck. "There's no other place for me, Derek. You were right. I know I'm safe with you, and this is real. Youarereal and too important to let go only because I'm scared. I'm so sorry I left."
I clutch her even tighter, breathing in her sweet fresh scent. "It doesn't matter anymore, baby. It was painful, but you had to go, and I had to let you go so that you could come back to me. Right here, right now."
She smiles through her tears, her eyes glimmering.
“I’m still scared, Derek.”
I kiss her lips softly. "I know, baby. It's okay to be scared. I will be with you every step of the way until you see there's nothing to be scared of anymore. Not if you trust me."
She nods, cupping my face in her hands as I walk us to the row of lifts.
"I do trust you, Derek. I do. I can give you my heart to keep for the chance of looking after yours."
I beam down at her and reach up with one hand to gently stroke her jawline with the back of my fingers.
I see her eyebrows knit together as she looks down.
