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“Derek? What–?” she murmurs softly, her warm breath tickling the side of my neck.
I gently squeeze one of her thighs, my other hand caressing her back as I make shushing sounds, my lips kissing her temple. “Shh, it’s okay. I’ve got you, angel.”
My wife sighs. “I know –she mumbles, voice pleased and sleepy– you always do.”
A small smile tugs at my lips just as I reach the entrance to our bedroom.
These are the moments I live for. To another man, one that doesn’t know my wife, doesn’t know us, such words whispered in the night could mean little. To me, they mean everything. Theyareeverything. The knowledge that my wife –someone who has been wronged in such a way in the past, someone that has overcome so many fears, so many doubts– is able to put her trust into me so implicitly, the fact that she truly believes that I’ll always be there for her, and that I’ll always take care of her to the point that she would say something like that not just to humor me in conversation but to say it in her sleep when no dissembling and no hiding is possible when her defenses are down, and she is vulnerable, is a gift so precious to me I can hardly explain what this feeling is doing to my heart.
All I ever wanted since the first time I saw her was to shield her heart with my own, to protect her and love her and be and do everything that I can for her to see her stand strong and fierce with the knowledge that there's nothing she can't be or do because she's fantastic and because she's not alone. And she knows. Every part of her does, and I couldn't be happier about it.
I flip the blankets on her side of the bed one-handed, and then I kneel on the mattress, sliding my wife as gently as I can on the cool sheets.
I gingerly pull the marshmallow still stuck to her head away from her hair and flick it onto the nightstand, then I walk around the bed, pulling my PJs off as I go, the baby monitor clutched in my hand.
I prop it on my own nightstand and adjust it so I can see my little girl’s face as I lie down on the bed. Piper’s fast asleep, cheeks flushed and a thumb in her mouth for comfort.
I grin at the screen, feeling the familiar yet flooring wave of love that always hits me when I look at what’s mine, be it the love of my life or one of our babies.
I roll onto my side and slowly pull my wife to my chest as I fix the covers around us. I might be as tired as I can get, but there’s no way I can fall asleep without Carina against me.
Just as my arms finish wrapping around her, she blinks awake, her bright green eyes staring up at me as her lips nuzzle between my pecs. “Hey, there…”
I stroke her soft cheek with the pad of my thumb. “Hey…”
She gives me a sleepy smile. “Couldn’t wait to ditch the fuzzy onesie, could you?”
I look down at myself and chuckle. “It’s a miracle I managed to keep it on as long as I did. It hitched like a bastard.”
She kisses just above my heart, giggling. “Poor baby, fleece is just too rough a fabric for your delicate skin, isn’t it? From this day forward, only the best silk for you. I’m putting my foot down,” she teases.
I roll my eyes. “Very funny… don’t tell me you enjoy going around dressed like a fuzzy fairy?”
“Well,” she hedges, fingers playing with the smattering of hair over my chest.
I laugh. “You do?! Unbelievable!”
She shrugs. “Don’t judge. This might not be the best look for a night out, but it’s definitely something cozy to wear for a cold night in…”
I shake my head. “Babe, it’s almost June…”
“Well, you know I’m always cold,” she says, her little feet climbing on either side of one of my calves and stroking up and down.
“Even now?” I ask.
She nods against my chest, the tip of her cute little nose like a tiny sliver of ice against my naked skin.
I hug her tighter to my chest, my hands caressing up and down the fuzzy fabric covering her back to warm her up.
How she could be cold while wearing this purple portable furnace is a mystery to me. I’ve been gasping for air since the twins begged me to change into my own fluffy disaster-wear earlier tonight.
She lets go of a happy little sight, burrowing into me. “I could wear this thing every night…”
I laugh. “Please don’t…”
She looks up at me again, smiling big. “What? Not sexy enough for you? I knew I should have gotten the pink sparkly one instead!”
I kiss her frozen nose and her lips. “It’s not about finding you sexy, love. You could wear this to bed every night, and I would still fuck you silly…”
