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“Doyou want to come in and clean up?”
“IfIdo,Iwon’t leave.Betterfor me not to go inside with you.Idon’t have the strength to resist you,”Iconfess.
Shenods knowingly before sliding off my lap to stand.Igrab my socks and boots and put them back on my feet.
Shewalks with me to my truck.Beforeopening the door,Itrap her between my body and the truck to kiss her again.Thekiss goes from sweet to needy again.Mydick comes back to life asIgrind against her while her nails sink against my biceps.
Iquickly pull back, hang my head, and growl.IfIstay another minute,I’mgoing to fuck her.Shekisses my cheek and slips from under me.
“Goodnight, lover,” she whispers from behind me.
Sheis a good two feet away, butIsnag her around the waist and slam her against my body.Ikiss her with all the desperationI’mfeeling beforeIlet her go and finally leave.
3
Rachel
EventhoughIknowLukehas no cell service where he is,Ikeep looking at my phone.Evanhasn’t texted either.Hopefully, he’s resting before his ride out toShadowThornein the morning.I’mnot.Afterthis week,I’mbeginning to wonder if sleep will ever be something easy to attain.
Iroll over inLuke’sbed and imagine he’s here with me.It’sso hard to know how he’ll react to everything when he comes home.Ihave thought through a hundred scenarios.Everythingfrom we’ll pick right up from where we left off, to him asking me to move, not only out, but all the way back toJackson.
Oncethe time crawls past three in the morning,Iget up and start some laundry.Idive into making way more breakfast than is necessary; bacon, eggs, and pancakes.Anythingto curb this feeling of being absolutely useless and lonely.AllweekI’vebeen a lost lamb.Ifeel displaced and utterly alone.Workkeeps me busy, but it’s an out-of-body experience.Mybody is working, but my heart and mind are drifting in the ether.
Evan’svisit last night was the first timeI’vefelt as ifIbelonged since the last time the three of us were together.Beingin his arms was everything, even thoughLuke’sabsence was heavy between us.EveryneedIhad just gushed forth between us.NowI’mafraid it will hurtLuke, but that’s not like him at all, not when it comes toEvan.
Whothe hell knows at this point?Theworld has been turned upside down.
Myheartbeat speeds up whenIhearEvandriving around the house.Thefact that he’s almost an hour early means he couldn’t rest either and just wants to get toLukeas soon as possible.Idon’t even try to hold back from going to meet him at the door.Hesmirks at me when he sees me.It’sso damn sexy and, combined with the way he crosses the lawn and up the steps,Iwonder howIever resisted him before.
Helifts me off my feet and kisses me, the chilly air surrounding us.Hesmells incredible, clean and warm.
“Damn, you realizeIcan see every curve of your body through that gown—standing in the lit doorway like you’re giving me a peep show?”
Ilatch my legs around him, and he hoists me into his arms.Ibite my tongue beforeItell him how muchI’maching for him.Heclutches my hair, pulling me back so we can kiss as he carries me across the kitchen.
Ilet my legs fall so he’ll set me back on my feet.
“Imade breakfast,”Itell him asIwork to fill up a plate for him.
Thechair slides across the floor, and whenIturn around, he’s palming his jeans.Anunsteady breath leaves my lungs.
“Evan…”
“I’msorry.Ican’t just turn this off,Rachel.”
Fuck,Ilove watching him touch himself.Iapproach him slowly and set the plate in front of him. “Sowhat do we do?Fuckwhen he isn’t here, and try to ignore how much it will hurt him?”
Heruns his hands over his face and back through his hair. “Fuckno!Ijust…”
Islip into the chair across from him and push the plate closer. “Iknow.Eat, baby.”
Hishands drop to his thighs, but he doesn’t eat.Hewatches me intently and looks over my chest.Mynipples harden.Iknow what he wants.Ilean forward, crossing my arms to hide them.
“Please,”Iwhimper.
HisAdam’sapple bobs as he swallows. “Goddamn,Siren.Youunderstand whyIcall you that?”
Ishrug and stare at the eggs on his plate.
