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Finally, he shakes his head and lets out a groan.Hereaches into his back pocket, fishes two twenty-dollar bills from his wallet, and throws them on the table.
“You’renot buying lunch,”Itell him.
“Considerit payment for keeping me company.”Hestands, puts on his cowboy hat, and with long strides, leaves the restaurant.
“Fuck,”Imumble to myself.Ithrow two fifties on the table and grab his money, intent on giving them back to him.Ithrow on my jacket and rush out the door after him.
Icatch up to him as he’s pulling his keys from his jeans pocket and reaching for the door handle of a pickup truck.Igrab his wrist and am overwhelmed with his shame, confusion, fear, and frustration.Islap the money in his palm.
“Youhave nothing to be ashamed of,Evan.Iam not going to harm you.Iwant to help.”
Hejerks his hand away and turns to face me. “Howcould you help?”
“It’sdifficult to explain, butIcan ease your emotions…make you forget if you desire.”
Hestares at my hand, butIdon’t move it.Ineed to see into his soul. “WhatI’vegot, you can’t help, and there is no wayIcould ever forget.”
“Whateverit is, it has you troubled and running away.”
“Ihave to run away, orI’mgoing to succumb to all of it.Ifthat happens…”
Desperateto see his thoughts,Iclasp my hands around his face and am flooded with images ofLuke.Helooks like aVikinginEvan’smind, blond and tall.Ipull his emotions in as fast asIcan through such a small conduit of touch.Hiseyes close, overwhelmed with the sudden change in his feelings.Ifhe would let me,I’dgive him a respite so he could think clearly.Isn’tthat why we are here?Becausethis man needs a break.Heis tied in so many emotional knots.
Evangrabs my wrists and jerks them away from his face.Themoney floats to the pavement. “Whatthe fuck is your problem?Youcan’t touch me like that!”
“Ineeded to see what you’re feeling.”Itake a step back, knowingItruly overstepped.
Hegrits his teeth and leans in so we’re eye to eye. “I’mnot some faggot you can pick up in a roadside diner!”
Hiscomment shocks me.Faggot?BecauseItouched him?
“Iwasn’t…”Buthe is already in his truck, cranking the ignition and gunning the engine.
Itake several steps back, allowing him to back out of the parking space.
“Greatwork, reaper!”Iscold myself.
Whenit comes to coherent and healthy humans,Isuck at interacting with them.Thisis whyIchose the line of workIdo for my survival.I’vealways wanted to help others, but those who resist and fight back frustrate me too much.Ireally do want to help him, give him some peace, let him know he’s not a terrible person.Problemis,I’ma reaper, born and bred.
Thelove he feels for that guy…Luke.Wow!
Damn, if he only knew how lucky he is to feel that kind of all-encompassing love for someone.Iwould give anything to have that, andIcertainly wouldn’t bury it down just becauseIdon’t fit into that fucking box of normality.
Abandonedin an empty parking space,Ilook up, but he’s long gone, asIshould be.Iput on my helmet and straddle my bike, sitting there for a moment, trying to digest the last hour.
21
Evander
Mymind is still spinning whenIstop at the hotel room door, number 337.Iswipe the card.Itbeeps and flashes red, but doesn’t open.Itry again and finally the lock clicks.Atthe same time, the door across the hallway opens.I’mso stunned to seeEvanLogan, thatIfail to open the door to my room.
“Shit,” he curses.
“Itold you fate had a reason.”
Herolls his eyes and turns toward the elevators.
“Youcan deny it, butIhave a feeling fate will bring us together regardless.”
