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Thecorner of his mouth curves up slightly in a secret smile.Helooks down and blushes, trying to hide behind his hair.It’ssexy as hell.
“What?”Iask, wanting to understand the emotions playing on his expression.
Hepeeks up from under the hair hanging around his face. “Ihonestly love you,Evan.”
“Ilove you too.”
“Imean…” he turns his gaze away. “Ilove you deeply.Iknow it’s not what you’ve wanted, but you’re deep in my veins, little brother.Inever want you to leave.”
Iitch to be closer to him but remain seated. “I’msorry,I’vepushed you away.Itis whatIwant,Luke.Idon’t want to lose what we’ve had the past few weeks.”
Hissmile fades, reminding me we have already lost it.
Hestands and walks past me.I’munable to find the wordsIshould say to make him stay close to me.Instead,Iwatch him go toSpiritand brush his hands through her mane.Heleans his head on her shoulder and pets her lovingly.Idon’t think he’s ever looked so incredibly handsome in his life.Hebelongs out here.Heshould live here every day of his life.
Whateverwild thoughtsI’vehad about him going to school with me, or he andRachelmoving toChicagoto be with me, are unreasonable.Maybeat one time, he did intend to go with me, but it was never meant to be.Heknew that long beforeIdid.
Ilook behind me, and it’s all so clear.Abeautiful house where he andRachelwill live, have babies of their own.Iwon’t be physically here, but a piece of me will always be here with them.Iwill pour all my heart into building that house for them, and that way, they can live in my heart always.
* * *
LUKE
Thefurther we ride up the trail, the cooler it gets.Itdoesn’t help that it’s getting closer to sunset.Wewind around until we finally come to the overlook.Ithas snowed, so the very top of the mountain’s rocky peaks are dusted white, while below the tundra the landscape is striped with vibrant color as the trees extend to the valley.Evanhas been riding in front of me but stops to turnShadowtoward the view.Ihang back, lift my camera and snap pictures of him.Heis in silhouette against the orange and red sky.Iadjust the aperture and focus on his face asItake more pictures.Hehas the same look thatIalways have whenI’mhere.It’san incredible sense of awe and wonder.Icould stay up here for ages and look over the miles stretching out before us.
Heglances at me, andI’mable to capture his image as a slight smile curves the corner of his mouth and reveals his dimple.Mybody responds instinctively, from my pounding pulse to my hardening dick.
Ilet the camera dangle from my neck and urgeSpiritto stand alongsideShadow.Thehorses acknowledge one another beforeShadowshakes his mane.Evanleans forward and scratches between the horse’s ears.
“Thoughtyou wanted to take pictures of nature?” he asks.
Ourknees bump as the horses shift. “You’renatural.”
Herolls his eyes and holds out his hand. “Giveme that.”
“What?Why?”Ilaugh.
Hewiggles his fingers. “Comeon!Justgive me the camera.”
Ilift the strap over my head and hand it to him.Heholds it up to his eyes, looking over the landscape and adjusting the focus.Ifollow the direction of his gaze to figure out what he’s looking at.Itcould be anything.Theleaves are changing, so the valley is full of tall green pines with the orange and yellowQuakingAspensand poplar trees mimicking flames smoldering on the ground.Itlooks as if the valley is on fire, and the pines will be consumed at any moment.
Sincemy mom died, the only thingIever liked about my birthday was that it was during this time of the year.Fora few weeks, the land is a spectacle of color.I’mcontent to take it all in asEvantakes some pictures.Itwill be awesome to have some images from his point of view.I’malready thinkingIwill make the inner wall of the loft a gallery for photosI’vetaken.Nowthey’ll include ones thatEvantook.
Feelingthe weight of his stare,Iturn to him.Heis taking pictures of me now.Atfirst,Ilook away, but then turn back and give him a big ass grin.Helowers the camera.
“Youlook like a buffoon.”
Weboth laugh asImake more stupid faces at him.
“Youruined the moment.”Heshakes his head and holds the camera out to me. “Iwant you to send me those photos.”
“Whywereyoutaking pictures ofme?”Iask, putting the camera away since it will soon be too dark to take more photos.
“Samereason you were taking some of me.”
“Tocapture a moment?”Imuse more than ask.
Weboth turn our attention back to the view.Evanleans forward, resting his crossed arms on the saddle.
