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Stretchingmy finger back to circle my hole,Iimagine it’s him who’s touching me.Iwould give him everything, flay myself open for him.Hecould have it all.Theycould have all of me.WhenIbreach myself and stroke where no one has ever been, my cock jerks and shoots cum over my chest and stomach.Itug harder, squeezing my shaft as she would with her body, imagining my fingers are the ripples in her core.
Witha roar,Ilet out all of my pent-up frustrations; the anger, lust, want, need…the fucking need that is eating me from the inside out.Itends in harsh chills and tears.Ican’t even hold my emotions together anymore.
Usingmy discarded shirt,Iclean up my chest.Emptinessis returning with a quick surge.Rollingto my side and curling into a ball under the covers,Iallow myself to grieve for all thatI’velost and will lose every day a little more without them.
12
Luke
Evanis here most days when she returns from work, and he is here everySunday, including spending the night.Hehas even come here late onSaturdaynights to be with her.Everytime,Itake my place next to the door.Ihang on every moan and whisper they make, hunched over with my eyes closed, imaginingI’mright there with them.I’mtorturing myself, butIcan’t stay away.Ithas become an addiction—the only thingIhave to look forward to.
Lastnight,Islept on the sofa in the living room.Evanleaving well before sunrise woke me.It’sMonday, andRachelhas a doctor’s appointment this morning.
Isit up and stretch.Myhead is aching.Ifeel like shit.Ican’t survive much longer on so little sleep.Asmuch asI’dlike to go back to sleep whereIam,Ican’t take a chance thatRachelis awake and might find me here, soIgo back to the loft and collapse in my bed untilIhave to get up.
“Hey,” a soft voice rouses me from sleep.Myhead is still pounding, but whenIfeel a hand on my chest,Iopen my eyes.
“Rachel?”
“Youoverslept.Ifyou need to rest,Ican go to my appointment alone.”
Shelooks like a dream, sitting on my bed dressed in a dark purple wrap dress that hugs her body.Hercoat is folded over her arm, and she’s pinned her hair up.Imiss her long hair.Herdark eyes are bright.Shelooks happy, happier than she has in a long time.It’sbecause ofEvan.Ireach out and skim her cheek with my knuckle.
“Ofcourse,I’mgoing to take you.Ididn’t mean to oversleep.”
“I’vebeen looking forward to the time with you.Ifeel like we never see you.”
We.SheandEvan.
“Whydid you stop havingSundaydinners withEvanand me?”
Isit up. and the covers slide to my hips.Ishould have left on my boxers.Lettingout a breath,Itouch her hair. “YouandEvanneed to enjoy your time without me.”
Shetakes my hand and squeezes it to her chest. “Imiss you, and you’re always a part of us.Youknow that.”
Notanymore.
“Weneed to get going if we’re going to stop for breakfast first,”Isay to change the topic.It’sour little routine on days when she has appointments.Shestands to let me out of bed, butIstay put. “I’mnot exactly decent.Canyou turn around?”
Hershoulders fall. “Really?Luke, we know each other intimately.”
Itwirl my finger. “Notanymore.Can’thave you jumping my bones, making you late for your appointment.”
Shelaughs and shakes her head, but turns and walks over to the wall of photographs.Shestands there whileIgather my clothes and disappear into the bathroom.
“You’veadded a couple of new photos.”
Ipoke my head out of the bathroom with my toothbrush in my mouth. “Yeah, the two on the far right.”
Shenods at the same time as her fingers caress the frame. “Thesnow in these black and white photos makes the image so stark.Beautiful.”
WhenI’mready,Istep out to find her staring at the picture ofEvanon horseback.
“Helooks so happy here.”
“That’smy favorite,”Itell her asIpull on my coat.
Whenshe turns, she lets me take hers and help her put it on. “Whathappened that weekend?”
