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“Soldier … you had no right—”
“I know I should've run it by you first, and I'm sorry I didn't,” I quickly interjected, already jumping into fight-or-flight mode to keep her from getting mad. To keep her from leaving. “But he had asked, and I thought it would be better to just … lay it out and be honest instead of making him even more suspicious.”
“But why was he even suspicious at all?” Her eyes met mine, accusation heavy in her glare.
“Because he wanted to know why Seth had called me a murderer.”
Her eyes softened, and her shoulders slumped. “Oh …” She brushed a strand of hair from her face. “Oh God, that poor kid …”
“Yeah, so I guess he's just been trying to work this out in his head for the past few weeks, and today, he finally confronted me about it.”
She reluctantly nodded. “What did he say when you told him?”
“Well, he was a little shaken up at first, but after I explained it a little—while leaving out the dirty details, of course—he was okay.”
“So, he's fine with it?” She eyed me skeptically, and I laughed in response.
“Well, I don't know if I'd say he'sfinewith it, but … he gets it. And he's fine withme, and honestly, I really can't ask for more than that. But”—I forced a lighthearted chuckle—“I guess his therapist isgonnaget an earful about this now.”
It was meant to be a joke, but, man, I was just on a roll today because Ray didn't laugh. Instead, she turned away as her eyes filled with tears and her bottom lip wriggled ferociously.
Quickly, I pressed my palms to her cheeks, cradling her face in my hands as I turned her gaze back to mine. “Hey, what's wrong?”
She bit her lip, a feeble attempt to keep her tears fromfalling, beforeshe just gave up the fight altogether. “He probably thinks so poorly of me.”
My brows pinched as I shook my head. “What? No, baby.Of coursehe doesn't. Why would you think that?”
“Because I really know how to pick 'em,” she said, attempting to smile at her own poor excuse of a joke. “We all know his father is a piece of fucking garbage, but to add insult to injury, the first and only man I ever allow myself to fall in love with is an ex-con, convicted of”—she threw a gesture toward the ceiling and her eyes followed—“fucking manslaughter.”
“Andpossession of a controlled substance.” The corner of my mouth lifted in an apologetic smile while my heart begged to admit that she was the first and only woman I'd fallen in love with too.
A watery laugh pushed past her lips. “Oh, of course, silly me. How could I forget?”
“Baby, Noah doesn't think anything badly about you,” I assured her, tracing the curvature of her face with my fingertips. “All he cares about is that you're safe and happy. That's it. And he believes that,as long asyou're with me, you are.”
She looked into my eyes, her tears drying sticky on her cheeks, as she nodded. “I know I am,” she whispered, wrapping her hands around my wrists.
“And he is too,” I assured her, feeling like a broken record while knowing I could never tell her enough.
I would tell her as much and as often as she needed.
The timer pierced the moment, letting us both know that dinner was ready, and she reluctantly left my lap with a feathery brush of her lips against my cheek. As I took the baked sea bass out of the oven, Ray went tochangeinto something more comfortable—much to my chagrin. Then, when she returned minutes later, I was setting the table, instantly smiling at the sight of her in my T-shirt with her hair piled high on her head.
Librarian Ray might be the sexier of her personalities, but this Ray … comfortable, real, and relaxed …
This one surpassedthe fantasy.
This one felt the most like mine. The one that best suited me.
“You’re giving me that look again,” she said, sidling up beside me to help set the table.
“What look?” I lifted the corner of my mouth in a teasing smile.
“The look you give me when I think you’re going to finally tell me how you feel, but then you find something else to distract yourself with. Which is fine. I understand, and it doesn’t change anything between us. But … that’s the look. And I know that because I know I look at you the same way.”
I couldn’t stop my chuckle from rumbling gently through my chest. How she had me pegged so accurately, it blew my mind.
My heart rattled against my ribs, hammering frantically with an uncertain panic that I knew was absurd.
