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He found me across the street from the high school, just as he’d found me all those months before. It was risky for me now to be sitting out in the open like this.
What if Levi saw me? What about Seth?
But, to put it simply, fuck them. They were the last things on my mind as I stared across at that sacred patch of dirt. The last place my best friend had been alive. The last place my mother had lain—well, apart from the morgue. I stared at it and the permanent tire tracks marring its surface, and I wondered what else it had seen. How many overdoses? How many drunken girls and guys? How many car accidents? Theamountof memories it held, the things it knew, the things it had seen …
Fuck, if it could talk, what would it say right now?Jesus, fuck, this guy again?
Harry got out of his car and wandered over, wearing the uniform I knew well.
“You’re making this a habit now,” he commented, standing above me with his hands on his waist. “What’s going on?”
“My mom died,” I replied simply, only glancing at him for a moment before looking back at the spot across the street.
Harry blew out a deep breath, then groaned. “Ah, son …” His weary, old bones lowered to sit beside me, his arm wrapping around my hunched shoulders. “I’m so sorry.”
“Yeah,” I muttered quietly, rubbing a hand beneath my nose. “Me too.”
I didn’t make him linger with me for long. I rose to my feet after another few seconds passed, and I held out a hand to help him up. Then, I asked if he could take me home, and he didn’t say no. He never would.
We chatted along the way about everything but my mother. He asked me about Ray, and I told him I loved her. I asked him about Mrs. Henderson, and he told me she was expecting her third—and supposedly final—child. We talked about the upcoming fall and the holidays it held, and he asked if I wanted to do something with his family for Thanksgiving and Christmas. I told him I’d love to, but I’d have to run it by the lady of the house.
“Ah, I guess you do have your own family to think about now, huh?” he said, flashing me a smile I couldn’t refuse.
“Yeah,” I replied just as we pulled up to 1111 Daffodil Lane. “I guess I do.”
I said goodbye, and he once again said he was sorry. I told him I was tired of people being sorry for me, and he got out of the car to give me a hug.
“Then, how about I just tell you that I love you and I’m here whenever you need me?”
I blinked back the tears I had been fighting off all damn day. “Love you too, Harry.”
He clapped his hand against my back, then pulled away. “All right. Get in there and be with your family. Be in touch though, okay?”
“You know it.”
Then, I watched him drive away, staring at the taillights as he drove down the street and then turned out of sight. An ache wrapped itself around my heart, choking the breath from my lungs and making me wish I hadn’t let him leave at all.
Why do I feel like I won’t see him again?I laughed, beside myself, shaking my head and wiping a hand over my eyes.It’s been a long fucking day. I’m tired, I’m hungry, and that’s all it is.
I headed up the broken steps and unlocked the door, and inside, I found Ray, Noah, and Eleven on the couch, playing the Nintendo Switch. They both turned with a start at the sound of me entering, and then they were on their feet, rushing over to bombard me with hugs and headbutts against my ankles and questions about the day I didn’t feel like answering.
“I just want to cook dinner and go to bed,” I told them, heading for the kitchen.
“Oh, I thought we could just order a pizza,” Ray suggested.
“Nah.” I opened a cabinet and pulled out a box of pasta. “I don’t mind cooking.”
“Are you sure?”
I flashed an exasperated look over my shoulder. “Ray, if I didn’t want to, I wouldn’t suggest it.”
She barely bobbed her head in a nod as her cautious eyes danced over my face. “Okay.”
In silence, I went through the motions of getting out a jar of sauce, a pot to boil water, and another smaller pot to heat the sauce. I opened the jar, dumped it into the pot, and put it on the stove to simmer. I dug through the spice rack, added a dash of this and a dash of that to liven the sauce up a bit. I filled the pot with water and put it on to boil. All while a tidal wave of memories hit. One by one, eachpunchingme in the gut harder than the last.
Mom talking to me on the phone from rehab on Christmas.
Mom waking me up on my eighth birthday.
