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I never said no to piggyback rides.
We went downstairs with Gramma shuffling slowly behind us and Sully hopping around our feet, and we opened hundreds and hundreds of presents. I got lots of cool stuff, almostevery single thingI had asked Santa for. But when everything was opened and there was wrapping paper all over the floor, I looked atall ofmy new toys, and my eyes felt like they could cry.
“Hey, what’s wrong, buddy?” Grampa asked.
I lied to Gramma and Grampa sometimes. I knew it was wrong, but sometimes, it felt right. But today, I didn’t lie when I said, “I miss Mommy.”
Gramma looked at Grampa, and I thought maybe they’d cry too. But they didn’t.
Instead, Gramma said, “You know what, my little man? I think it’s time you gave Mommy your present.”
I sat up real straight and asked, “What?” Because the only present I had gotten for Mommy was a new pencil at the school Christmas fair, and how was I supposed to give it to her if she wasn’t here?
She grabbed the phone from the table next to her chair and pressed some buttons. I still didn’t know what she was doing or how I was supposed to give Mommy the sparkly pink pencil in my backpack when she wasn’t here, but then she said some stuff into the phone and asked if she could talk to Diane Mason. Diane Mason was Mommy’s name, andall of a sudden, I was really, really happy. Happier than I had been when I opened hundreds and hundreds of presents.
“Hey, honey. Merry Christmas,” Gramma said, a smile growing on herlineyface. “Yeah, he’s right here. You ready to talk to him? Okay.”
Then, she passed the phone to me and said, “Mommy wants to talk to you.”
My legs couldn’t stop moving around as I took the phone and pressed it to my ear. “Hi, Mommy!”
“Hey, sunshine!” She sounded different than she had the last time I’d seen her. She sounded good and happy and like a million Lucky Charms marshmallows. “Merry Christmas!”
“Did Santa know how to find you?”
“Oh, yeah, baby. He sure did.Of coursehe did.”
That made me so, so happy. Because even if I couldn’t find her, Santahad still knownwhere to go. I guessed Grampa was right—hey, you know what? Maybe he could be Santa after all.
“What did he get you?!”
“Oh, baby,” she said, and I thought maybe she was crying. I didn’tlikewhen Mommy cried. “He got me the best present ever.”
That didn’t make any sense at all. If it was the best present ever, why was she crying?
“What was it?”
“He got me a phone call from you!”
“But … but …” I bit my fingernail and turned around so Gramma and Grampa couldn’t see me because I thought I might cry too. Then, I asked, “Why are you sad?”
“Oh, no, Soldier,” Mommy said. “I’m not sad. I’m happy. I’m so, so happy. I love you, and I promise when I get home, things are going to be better.I’mgoing to be better. You’ll see. I’ll be the best mommy in the world because that’s what you deserve for being the best little boy. Okay?”
As she sang her sunshine song to me, I wondered what all of that meant. She already was the best mommy, and if she was so happy, why was she crying?
But if she had said she was happy and that things would be good when she got home, then I believed her.
Because that was what I always did.
I believed her.
***
Age Eight
There was still a little snow on the ground, but the birds were singing in the trees, and the sun was warm. Grampa said it was a good sign that spring was coming soon, and that was cool. Spring meant spending more time in the backyard with Sully. It meant bike rides and sleepovers in Billy's tent and going for walks with Gramma. Plus, once spring was here, it wasn't long before summer was, too, and I loved summer. Well, I didn’t like how hot it was, but summer meant I didn't have to go to school, and I got to go fishing with Grampa.
I really, really loved summer.
