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Shaking her head, she rolls her eyes at my choice of words, but I can see she’s smiling. Leaning forward, I set the laptop on the coffee table and turn to face her.
“Look, we may have started out just having fun,” I say. “But we became friends. And regardless of whether we’re still giving each other those amazing orgasms, I want to be here for you when you need me. That’s what friends do. Layna, I care about you. I can’t just turn that off because we stopped having sex.”
She looks at me for a long moment as if searching for something. I shouldn’t have added that last part. It was too serious. Too honest. If I’m not careful, she’ll see through me. I grin at her and waggle my eyebrows.
“Just because you refuse to see how amazing we could be together, doesn’t mean I can let you die alone,” I say.
Her mouth drops open, and she shoves my shoulder with a laugh. “Dick! I’m not going to die alone. I’m old, but I’m not decrepit.”
I laugh along with her before shaking my head. “You’re not old, Layna,” I say. “You need to stop getting so hung up on your age. It’s not like you’re 80. You’re barely past 30.”
She makes a face. “I’m 33.”
I gasp, putting both hands on my cheeks. “Oh, no! Not 33! The horror!”
“I hate you,” she mutters, but the corners of her mouth are curved into a smile.
“You’re just fishing for compliments,” I say. “You secretly love hearing me tell you how young and beautiful and sexy you look. But you aren’t getting any of that from me tonight. Save it for your new online boy toys.”
She laughs. “I don’t want any boy toys. I just want someone who wants what I want.”
“What’s that?”
She shrugs and looks away from my gaze. “I don’t know. A house. A life together. Maybe a kid or two eventually. Or a pet. Hell, I might settle for a needy houseplant at this point. I just want someone who mostly has their shit together and wants to settle down. Someone who doesn’t cheat. Someone who’s tolerable to look at and is a decent kisser.”
I smile at her description, but inside I’m seething. Before I can stop them, the words come out.
“You deserve so much more than that,” I say. “You deserve someone who thinks the sun rises and sets in your eyes. You deserve someone who will worship every inch of your body. Someone who tells you every day how lucky they are to have you. Someone who will be beside you through everything life throws at you. Because they want to be there. Because the idea of being anywhere else is physically painful. You deserve the fucking world, Layna. Can’t you see that?”
We go still, our eyes locked on one another for a long moment. It’s so quiet I can hear my own heart pounding. It would be so easy to lean in and kiss those full lips. I’ve done it a thousand times. I can see in her eyes that she’s thinking it, too. We could pick right back up where we left off. But I know it would just be temporary. And we’d only end up back where we started. Friends. Reluctantly, I come to my senses and clear my throat, turning to look at the clock on the wall.
“It’s getting late,” I say. “I think we got a good start on your profile for now.”
She nods, turning to glance at the laptop. She smiles as she stands. “Yeah, definitely. I should head home. Thanks for everything, Cole.”
I move to stand, to walk her to the door. But she waves me back.
“No, don’t get up. I know my way out. I’ll text you tomorrow if I think of anything else for the site.”
Before I can get my bearings enough to go after her, I hear my front door open and close behind her. She’s gone. I know I should go after her and insist on driving her home. Even though her place is a short walk away, I should be a gentleman and take her. But I don’t. Because I don’t trust myself not to keep saying things I know I shouldn’t say.
Chapter 12
PresentDay
Layna
What was that?
The question repeats itself over and over in my head as I make my way to my apartment. I replay the events of the night, starting with Cole’s arrival at the restaurant. Our interaction had felt normal and natural, despite the change in our status. It had been a relief to hear the teasing tone and be able to banter back and forth with him. After everything, I’d been worried I somehow screwed it all up when I ended the physical part of our relationship. But Cole is still the same man I’ve always known, and that made me happier than I thought possible.
I hadn’t expected him to offer to help me find a man, though. It feels wrong, somehow. Yes, we’re friends and I know friends help one another with this sort of thing. But after so long spent having sex with him every chance we could, the idea of discussing my dating life with him feels almost unnatural. But he hadn’t seemed bothered by the idea. He hadn’t backed down from creating my profile on that dating site and he’d even given me pointers. So, why am I so irritated?
And why do I keep replaying his last words over and over in my head as I lie awake in my bed. The intensity of his gaze on me as he’d recited the list of all the things he believes I deserve had stolen my breath. For a moment, I’d wondered if there was more to his words than simply wishing good things for a friend. For a moment, I’d wanted there to be. Which is ridiculous. Cole is Cole. He’s not changing his ways anytime soon. He’s never given me any hint that he wants to settle down or have a serious relationship. Not that I’ve given it much thought.
I haven’t.
At all.
