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Still feels a bit public considering guests can see us from their window seats.
Tucker’s neck that houses a small June Bug tattoo directly on top of his pulse strains at the same time he snaps, “You’re fucking pregnant and didn’t bother to tell me?!”
“You got our son a fucking pet rabbit and didn’t bother to tellme?!”
His head shake is slow. Deliberate. Steeped in vexation. “Not the same goddamn thing, June, and you know it.”
“Uh…it’s another living…being…creature…to…care for! To be in charge of feeding. And cleaning. And taking it to the doctor! And finding a babysitter for! Another thing to…to…to…”
Instead of inserting the word he knows I’m searching for, he simply remains silent.
Continues to grit his teeth and maintain his space.
Not having Tucker’s assistance emphasizes and adds to the frustration overwhelming my senses to the point I’m forced to shut my eyes. Go inward. Release a heavy exhale to buy myself a moment to regain my composure.
My thoughts.
My ability to speak without sounding like an anime character only capable of communicating in symbols.
The second I let my stare settle on his, I bite, “You made a life changing decision without consulting meat all.” Holding in my boiling resentment is poorly done. “Actually, you madetwo.In the past two days, you’ve madetwovery life altering choices without doing the very thing you told Lo a family does!Talk.You haven’t talked to me about shit, Tucker! You just keep doing. And doing. And expecting us – erme– to cope or accept, and this isn’t just about this fucking bunny, which for the record –I do not want – but the job you took inanother country?! Going somewherewithoutyour family?! Traveling alone!?”
“I can travelalone, June. I’m a fucking adult.”
Bewilderment paralyzes my mouth in an open position.
“And I can make decisionon my ownforme.”
“This isn’t ayouthing! This is awething! You doing what you feel like doing in this case affects this family!”
“And you don’t think getting pregnant without consulting me affects this family?!”
Rage shakes my entire frame. “You’re acting like I climbed on top of myself and got pregnant, Tucker! Like I just laid there with my legs open and declared we were having another kid whether you wanted it or not!”
“We never talked about having more kids!”
“We never talked about having Lo, either!” The foot stomp he’s given stumbles him backward. “He just…happened.Like the rest of the most amazing shit in our life, he just got here when Fate deemed it was a good fit.” My shoulders absentmindedly bounce. “Youwere the one who claimed the almighty Fate had given us this big, amazing blessing-”
“She had!” He rushes to add, “Shehas.Lo is…fuck, June. The kid is like putting fresh paint on a canvas. I can’t love creating life with him enough. I could not possibly be more fucking grateful to have him. Thatwehave him.”
“Then why are you acting like this?!” Foreign bursts of confusion blast through my system. “Why are you acting like you don’twantour family to grow? Like this baby – this baby I have been trying to tell you about since we got here but haven’t exactly hadtime– is going to be some sort of…burden instead of the same fucking blessing?!”
To my surprise, he doesn’t answer.
Discombobulation darts around my expression. “You don’t…you don’t want more kids, do you?”
“I don’t know,” Tucker quietly confesses.
Bulldozing over his weak response isn’t difficult. “Why don’t you want more kids, Tuck?”
“I don’t know.”
“Is itme?”
It’s his turn to look perplexed. “What?”
“Is it that you don’t want more kids or just that you don’t want more withme?”
“Don’t,” he immediately seethes.
