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I saw white light, and only that, behind my eyelids, felt my body moving with and against it. It had been on the list, that list of things Noah possibly wanted to try, and I’d agreed to it, and I was wondering if it was a good idea or not whenithappened. I started to float.
Now, kink and pain, they made me leave my own head for a while, which was great all by itself, but there was something beyond that, a place that was so good, it felt like an out-of-body experience.
You lose all sense of yourself in it, like you’re no longer blood and bone. You’re nothing except that spirit, and you float. I was there, and when he zapped me again, then used the leather to whip me, I didn’t know it at the time, but I sobbed.
It wasn’t out of the pain or sorrow. It was that fucking joy you didn’t feel often in life, but sometimes it came, and life was the sweetest thing anyone could ever imagine.
Peaceful, beautiful light surrounded me in that place, and my body didn’t feel like it weighed an ounce. That’s why it felt as though I floated. My limbs weren’t numb, they were right next to numb, and happiness went through me like a whisper that turned into a roar.
I also didn’t know at the time that I came right then.
I was taken from the bindings, and the next thing I knew, I was in the house, on the couch, wrapped in blankets and being made to drink hot tea. “You there now?”
I’d blacked out from bliss. That was the first time it had ever happened to me. “I’m here,” I said from a raw throat that hurt like fire when I spoke the words.
“You scared me half to death. I thought I’d really hurt you.”
His voice told me how worried he was. I moved to hug him, though my body wasn’t thrilled at the movement. I held him in arms that felt like jelly and cried all over again. “That was so intense, and… perfect. God, Noah, I don’t even know the words.”
“You bucked and hollered like a wild horse with a burr under your saddle, then you were crying and coming at the same time. Thought I’d made you crazy!”
“I was… gone,” I explained as I lay back on the pillows. “I was fucking gone, all white lights and agony, then just… peace.”
“I couldn’t imagine what happened, but you laughed too, and kept telling me you loved me like a ranting fool. It was kinda nice, gotta admit, but I was convinced I’d driven you loony.”
I smiled weakly in his direction, and confessed, “I guess that may be what it feels like to lose your mind, but it… it was great. It was… a unique and great experience.”
“You are a pain queen, that’s for damn sure,” he said, laughing, then he sighed. “I’m glad you’re okay. The rest of the night, you lay here and try to recover from that. I’m making some soup, gonna watch some TV with you.”
“We don’t have a TV.”
“Sure, I do,” he said, like I was crazy. “Didn’t you ever look in that closet in the spare room?”
“No.”
“Well, that shows your character. Most would rifle through things in a room they’re staying in. Well, I have a TV there, with one of those Roku things. I don’t watch it much, but sometimes, a movie is nice.”
“That would be great, but you… I feel like I got something, and you didn’t.”
He chuckled at me. “Eli, you do not know what that did for me. Being a sub, you wouldn’t. Now, shush up, let me get you some water too, and then I’ll get that cream for you once the soup’s on. It’s fast. I canned a bunch of chicken noodle.”
“That sounds amazing.”
For the rest of that night, we were close together, and he fretted over my burns and bruises, even as I couldn’t wait to inspect them with a couple of mirrors, when I could stand and walk. I loved being fussed over, sure, but he seemed to love it more. He smiled the entire night, kissing on me, applying cream so much, I was slick with it.
And that was fine, as long as he was happily taking care of me.
Chapter Twenty
Mybodywassore,but I got my list of chores the next morning and saw Noah was taking it very easy on me for the day. “Most of this is in the house,” I mentioned in a voice that told him of my annoyance.
“Now, hear me out, Eli,” he said, grumbling a little after. “You took a beating. Your body’s gotta recover.”
“I’m not upset, Noah, but I think I can do more.”
“If you can, then do, but you’re not obligated to. That’s all. Milk the cow, do all that, but I have Joel coming to help me out with the cattle and such. No messing with Spirit today unless it’s just going to visit him. Keep up with that.”
“Yes, Daddy,” I said with a wink.
