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He reached for and grabbed my hand. “I’m glad you’re here, Burke.”
“Me too, surprisingly. Even with all the mud and snow. Go figure.”
“Yeah. Go figure.”
I had nightmares, but I didn’t face them alone any longer. I woke to arms wrapped around me and soothing words being whispered in my ear. Noah didn’t even mind my sweat, the kind the nightmares always gave me that rolled off and soaked the bed.
He took me into the bathroom once my shaking stopped and got in the shower with me. The water cascaded over us as he held me there, letting me get warm.
He washed me some, then got me out of the shower and wrapped two huge towels around me to take me back to our room. I got to lean on the wall by the door while he changed the sheets and then I was taken back to bed and held more.
He told me to stay in bed the next morning, that he had a helper in Damon, so I did. Burke came to check on me early, surprising me. “Hey. How are you?”
“It’s not even seven. What the hell are you doing up?”
“Your man asked me to come look in on you, and I figured it was me that brought that shit up last night.”
He came in and sat on the edge of the bed, staring at me.
“I’m okay.”
“You’re pale and you look like you could fly into a panic attack any minute. You got any pills?”
“Haven’t for a long time. Harvey wouldn’t allow them, and… Noah, with him, I haven’t needed them, really.”
“You should get some. I know we all hate taking them, but that kind of stress is hard on a body. I’ll talk to Noah.”
“I’m going to a doctor today. We’re… getting tested.”
Burke’s thick, dark brows rose almost comically, but his words were all caution. “You’re going pretty fast with this guy. I mean, I like him a lot, Eli, but that? Already?”
“I trust him. He trusts me, and that is a lot for him. His dead husband, he cheated.”
“Wow. That’s fucked. Still, be careful. I love you, kid. Always have.”
“You call me kid and you’re five years older than me.”
“Six, but who’s counting?”
I smiled at him, loving him back as my best friend on the planet. “You do like him, right?”
“I do,” he assured. “He is one of those rare types that lives by this weird code of honor. That’s besides the rules we have in the lifestyle. I’ve known a few men like that in my life. Very few.”
“I haven’t only known you. Now him.”
“I’m nothing like that, Eli. I’m just your friend. I’m trying to be better, though. I guess that’s a lot.” I reached for his hand and gripped it tightly.
“It’s everything, Burke. You and Damon, you’re okay?”
After a long sigh that ended with a laugh, he confessed, “He’s not easy to live with. He was raised on a farm, like he said, but he’s traveled all over to the biggest cities he could find, running from the farm. Now, he wants to escape the cities. I want to give him everything, you know? I want to give him what he wants and what he needs, but I’m afraid. If he moves to the country, how long before he wants to run back to the city?”
“Maybe never. Maybe the week after. Maybe you should talk to him about all this, and that’s before you find a sub.”
“Then I have plenty of time. I don’t think we’ll ever find one.”
“I doubt that. You’ll find one. But… talk to him.”
He smiled at me. “I missed you; you know? You might be the biggest reason to move here. I’d like to see a lot more of you, and I should keep a close eye on this guy you are with. If he fucks with you, I won’t hesitate to drag you out this time.”
