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Brett kissed me, and everything went away, and somehow, I was back in that quiet, bright place where I went when I was being whipped. Maybe it was the fact Brett’s fingers played there, on those welts, brushing over them, letting me relive the moments.
His eyes smoldered like fire, mouth on mine, tempting me to fuck him harder, and I did. I didn’t want to let go of him, though, so I kept him close, languishing in the kisses, brushing out faces against each other, our breathing heightened, bodies pressed close.
I held his wrists above his head and stopped my hips for the moment, taking the time to kiss and lick over his neck and his fine chiseled chest, taking the time to give each of his tiny nipples attention, making him buck his hips, writhe under me.
Making love with Brett was a unique experience for Ryan and Theo, and it was special all on its own. We didn’t often couple off like that, only one before, and it was needed. Brett and I were the last connection to fully bloom, and I wanted it to; I wanted to be as close to him as I felt to Theo and Ryan.
And that night, I was. I felt the man under me, tasted him, his life, his sweetness, all wrapped in a man with strength like I wouldn’t have guessed just looking at him. The way he fluttered his lashes, the way he was soft-spoken, but his words were never cast around aimlessly. He meant the things he said. Brett was different, broken, and put back together by love, like Ryan and Theo…and me.
Being inside of him was like being wrapped in love. As I started to move my hips again, his head sliding back on the pillow, exposing the long, beautiful neck, his pronounced Adam’s apple, I touched my lips there, then moved to his flesh that was over his pulse, and I felt his heartbeat quicken as my thrusts did.
Like we were one, the world fell away; it was only us. The pang of guilt I felt was fleeting because I knew how much I adored Theo above everyone. Theo was the light of my world, brighter every day, but finding love in more than one set of eyes, was like a lifetime of struggle that had produced beautiful gifts for me.
He lay in my arms after, breathing slowly as the smell of our sex surrounded us, the low and breathy laughter. “We’re leaving soon. I’ll miss you and Theo.”
“We’ll miss you too, but we all need this. Theo and me, we’ve barely been alone since we knew we were in love, and you and Ryan, I don’t think you’ve ever been.”
“We haven’t. Moments and evenings in our apartment, but there were always other men around, waiting to come in or interrupt us. I think we’re all scared of that, Hud. How will we be when we’re alone with just another person. I know I am.”
For him to admit that just reinforced what I’d thought about his strength. “I think you’re right. I’m terrified. What if Theo doesn’t love me as much as I love him? Will he be so lonely when you are gone that I can’t fill that space?”
“And you…?”
“Same. Theo…he’s my everything, but…you and Ryan, you’ve given me so much in such a brief time. It’s going to be a struggle.”
“But we have to. I know that, whatever this is, it might not last, but my life with Ryan will, and yours with Theo. We have to build on those relationships and grow them. I’ll miss you, though.”
I kissed his forehead as he snuggled even closer to me. “Sleep now. When it comes, we’ll all deal with it.”
Chapter Twenty-Four
Theo and I were bereft the day they left to move into their new home. Theo went quietly to his room to cry, and I spent the day with Tucker and Dale, caring for the pigs, fixing one of the heaters, and staying away from the house and Theo’s swollen eyes.
I knew my heart was broken at the loss; that wasn’t an actual loss. Ryan and Brett were right down the road, but still, they weren’t in our home. The tears, hugs, and kisses before they left maybe worsened it for me.
The thing was, I was sure I wasn’t enough for Theo. I was sure he’d give up on me and ask to move with Ryan and Brett to be their third. The thought haunted me all day, and I hated myself for mistrusting his love for me.
Still, dark thoughts had plagued me all my life, which is why it had been a lonely life. My trust came hard.
When I dragged myself back into the house, however, after the long day, I was shocked to find Theo on his knees, waiting for me. “Master, I’m glad you’re back.”
He wore nothing but the belt I hadn’t placed back on him after the weekend at the club. His face was done up in lovely makeup, subtle but darkly lined eyes, and pink lips…he was a beautiful sight.
“Theo…what is this?”
“It’s our first night alone,” Theo whispered, rising. “I wanted it to be special.”
My mistrust and how Theo likely felt the same hit me hard. “Baby…I…”
“Shh, Master. I’ll start your bath, and when you’re finished, please come down to the dinner I made,” he said, then fidgeted a little. “Okay, I called Eli, and Noah talked me through it, but I cooked it!”
I laughed and kissed him, holding him close, though my smell was likely terrible. He didn’t seem to mind. “That sounds great. I’ll get my shower, though. Have me some clothes out on our bed, if you will.”
“Anything for you, Master.”
My heart filled with all the joy I thought I’d lose when Ryan and Brett left, and I feared Theo would be forever heartbroken. He was mine; no matter what, it was him and me, and we were in this together.
I showered quickly, then found a pair of silk boxers on the bed and a warm flannel robe I’d never seen. I picked them up, feeling the silk against my cheek, knowing Theo had bought them, and bought them for me for this very night.
