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I lie in bed with my mind racing. He kissed me and it felt amazing. Better than amazing. We walked back to the house hand-in-hand, but we never exchanged one word. We came straight to the bedroom because everyone else seemed to be in bed. And now, Anton is in the shower, and I’m laying here wondering what will happen next. Will he expect more from me? After our last encounter, which involved his hand in my underwear, I’m not convinced I have the willpower to turn him away.
I hear Mae’s voice in my head telling me that I’m free and single, so what’s stopping me? If I was to tell her that Hulk is stopping me, she’d slap me silly. Deep down, I know there’s no future with Hulk, but it’s hard to let go of a dream I’ve had since I was thirteen years old.
Anton enters the room wearing nothing but his shorts. I’m so used to seeing him in suits that I gawk at him like I’ve never seen a half-naked man before. He catches me staring and smirks. I watch him take a blanket and pillow from the wardrobe, then he goes over to the couch and lays everything out neatly. My heart sinks a little. After that kiss, I was expecting . . . well, I don’t know what I was expecting, but I’m definitely disappointed when I see him climb under the blanket.
“Stop staring at me,” he grumbles sleepily.
“Is the couch comfortable?” I ask.
“Probably not as comfy as that bed, but I’ll survive. I don’t need much sleep.”
I lay back down and stare up at the sheer material that hangs across the top of the four-poster bed, twinkling lights wrapped within it. “Why?” I ask.
“I don’t know. After around three or four hours, I just wake up.”
“If I get anything less than eight hours, I’m a total cow.”
“Good to know.”
We fall silent, and I close my eyes. All I can picture is his naked chest. The skull tattoos that crawl up his abdomen. The way his back flexed as he straightened out his bedding. I shudder. “You know, we’re both grown-ups. I’m sure we can share the bed without it being weird.”
Anton doesn’t answer me for some time, and I begin to think he’s fallen asleep. “You think you can resist me?” he mumbles.
I smile to myself. “If you can resist me.”
Anton gets up and pads across the room. He slips into bed beside me, lying on his stomach and stuffing his pillows underneath him. He wraps his muscled arms around the pillows, and I sigh, wishing I was them. I take the opportunity to look at the tattoos on his back. There are more skulls and entwined around them is a snake. “You like skulls a lot,” I point out.
“One hundred forty-seven,” he almost whispers. “There are one hundred forty-seven.”
My hand hovers over the snake, and then, gently, I trace my finger over it. Anton’s skin breaks out in pimples. “Why do you like them so much? And what’s the snake all about?”
“The snake is my father.” My hand stops. “He’s crawling amongst the dead in hell.”
“The skulls are how you envision hell?” I ask.
“The skulls stand for death, one for every man I’ve killed. And, yes, they’re in hell where they belong. Where one day, we’ll meet again.”
“Oh,” I mumble. I’m not shocked Anton has killed men, he’s in the mob. Heisthe mob. “You think you’ll go to hell?” I ask.
Anton rolls onto his back and catches my hand in his. “I know I will. The devil has a special place for me.”
“What makes you so sure?” He laces his fingers with mine and rests our joined hands on his stomach.
“When you do as many bad things as I’ve done, you accept two things. One is that you’ll most likely die younger than you would if you were a normal regular man. The second is that you’ll pay for every sin in hell, an eternity of torture.”
“And that didn’t put you off?”
He smiles. “I can’t wait to get there. I think I’ll get more peace in hell than I’ve ever had on earth.”
It saddens me that Anton feels this way. I move my head closer until it rests against his bulging bicep. “What would give you peace?” I whisper. My eyes suddenly feel heavy with tiredness and a yawn escapes.
Anton kisses me on the head. “Death,” he whispers back. “Now, sleep.” As if his command is magic, my eyes close and I let sleep pull me under.
I wake with the sunshine warming my face. Blinking the sleep away, I look around the room to get my bearings. Anton isn’t here, and I didn’t hear him leave. On the bedside cabinet is a glass of orange juice. I smile and pull myself to sit up. I take the glass and groan with pleasure when the cool liquid hits my dry throat. On the stool at the end of the bed is a white bikini with a note attached saying, ‘Wear me.’ I smile wider, realising he’s been in my bag. Then my eyes fall to the black box sitting neatly on Anton’s pillow. It’s the same box Anton put the vibrator in. It was in my bag because I didn’t want my mum to go snooping and find it. Next to the box is a note saying, ‘Use me.’ I laugh out loud and flop back onto my pillow. Chewing on my lower lip, I stare at the box. I am alone, and it’s been a while since I bothered to take care of myself.
I pull the lid from the box and take out the vibrator. I press the power button and it buzzes to life. It wouldn’t hurt to relax and unwind. I am on holiday after all. Throwing the sheet back, I slip out of my panties eagerly, then I run my hand to my breast and close my eyes as I slide the vibrator between my parted legs.
The bedroom door suddenly swings open, and my eyes widen in horror. Anton stands in the doorway, frozen. In his hand is a tray laden with breakfast items. I squeal and release the vibrator so I can tug the sheet over myself. The purple plastic penis bounces on the mattress and drops to the floor with a thud. The vibrations sound so much louder on the wooden floor as it spins in a circle, and I cringe with embarrassment. Anton kicks the door closed behind him and places the tray on the end of the bed. He gracefully bends down and collects the toy from the floor.
