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“My parents made a lot of sacrifices for me, so I owe it to them to do as they ask.”
What utter bullshit, but I keep that to myself.
“This isyourlife.”
Her smile is so sad, it breaks my heart.
“That’s why I’m doing everything I want right now.”
I shouldn’t let this go, but I can’t stand watching her fall apart, so I give her a small reprieve.
I raise my glass, and she mirrors me like a good girl. “To finding our own happiness.”
We both drink deep until we finish our beers. I get my brother’s attention and hold up two fingers. He nods. Perhaps it wasn’t the best idea to drink away her problems, but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
I can’t complain how loose and smiley being tipsy makes her.
“What made you get into shibari?”
I’m impressed she remembered the correct term.
My smirk is a mixture of self consciousness and titillation. “I sort of stumbled into it while I was exploring porn.”
She lights up. “I know exactly what you mean! Except I started searching because of you!”
I jerk a little at the unexpected statement, but before I can ask she carries on, too excited in her inebriation to show a lick of embarrassment.
“Tiny told me you were a top, but when I looked up porn about tops it brought up a lot of male gay porn. Then that got me wondering about backdoor penetration…”
Suddenly, her words catch up with her brain, and she blushes adorably. That along with this interesting new information has my crossed legs tightening.
She giggles self consciously. “Anywho, you were saying about porn?”
I let go of her hand which makes her pout until I allow my fingers to tip toe up her arms until I’m cradling her neck. I’m more than relieved when she leans into my hand, and it tells me this girl is touch starved. I’m more than happy to remedy that.
“I was searching for lesbian porn. It’s hard to find any that’s not geared toward straight men. So, I dug deeper and that’s when I discovered dominatrixes. At first, I assumed I would prefer being under her control, but I quickly realized I wanted to be in charge. It was through experimentation and trial and error that I realized I enjoyed bondage and control over any kind of impact play. What changed my life,” I chuckle. “My BDSM life anyways was when I met Madame Oyabun.”
I caress my fingertips up over her delicate cheek before weaving them through her rich, dark, silky hair. She’s practically purring, and I’m about two seconds away from saying screw it.
“She wasn’t as beautiful as you, but striking. With little effort, she could command the hardest crowd. Our D/s community was still pretty new in Austin, and most preferred the darker side, but I was captivated from the moment she began weaving ropes around a man twice her size. So calm, yet so powerful. She was everything.”
She’s looking rather green as she swallows thickly before forcing the words out. “Did she become your lover?”
I tighten my grip on her hair making her gasp softly. “Oh no, my little hummingbird, we were both far too dominating for that.”
Her discomfort fades fast as relief inundates every part of me.
“But she did become my mentor. For three years, I studied shibari under her. I even lived in Tokyo for almost a year and learned all kinds of interesting things.”
What I don’t say is how many of those interesting things included pretty Japanese girls. I’m not trying to make her jealous.
“You’ve led such an interesting life.”
She’s so in awe, it only endears her even more to me.
I am so utterly fucked.
“I’d be happy to make your life more interesting. I can teach you what I know.” I offer, both hoping she’ll accept and decline.
