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“Do you think it’ll look bad that I have a nanny at all? Should I fire her?” I ask, suddenly worried.
“Don’t make any rash decisions right now,” Grayson warns. “That looks bad for stability. The kids have been in your house, in your care, since they were born. You have sufficient childcare for your work schedule. That’s all that matters.”
I know from hearing about other cases where the mother got custody that isn’t always the case, but I don’t argue, just gloomily sipping the coffee Lilian made me.
“It’ll all be over soon,” Grayson says, clapping me on the back.
Eli doesn’t want to leave and starts yelling, and then Maggie starts crying for Kenna, and I’m about to pull my hair out when we arrive back at the house.
I already miss Kenna, and not just how pretty she is and how good she smells. She’s good at her job, and maybe I was wrong to give her the week off just because I’m worried about what she might say in court.
I think about calling her and asking her to come back, but in the end, I don’t, just nursing a glass of whiskey and looking down at my phone.
I don’t know how to feel about Kenna anymore, if I ever did.
16
KENNA
The week without work goes by painfully slowly. I spend a lot of time with my brother and sister and my parents, though. We’re all trying to get Dad’s mind off the upcoming court case. He feels bad for not testifying for Derek, and bad for not testifying for Suzanna, and it’s just a bad situation for him.
The court date is on Friday, so on Thursday, I make my way to the lawyer’s office.
There are several people milling around in the lobby today, including a couple of men in what looks like ten-thousand-dollar suits. They’re both handsome, and all I can figure is that they’re colleagues of Derek’s.
I’m called in after the second man comes out, and Brett asks me a series of rapid fire questions that I stumble over.
“Do you have any contact with Suzanna Lodge?”No, not for years.
“How well do you know Derek Ledderman?”Fairly well, we’ve been in close quarters for two months now.
“How many days a week do you take care of Margaret and Eli Ledderman?”I work five days a week, Monday through Friday.
“Do you have an appropriate relationship with your employer?”
I freeze at that last question.
“Why are you asking me that?”
“Because that’s what her lawyer is going to ask you,” he says simply. “They’re going to try and find cracks in the kids’ stability anywhere they can.”
“I have an appropriate relationship with my employer,” I finally answer, and Brett smiles.
“Very good, Ms. Lodge.”
It doesn’t feel very good, to lie in court, but what else am I supposed to do? Tell the courtroom that Derek and I had slept together? What good would that do other than possibly losing custody of Maggie and Eli?
I can’t let that happen.
I barely sleep that night. I’m at the courthouse at nine in the morning, even though the hearing isn’t until eleven-thirty, and they call me in at noon.
The woman representing Suzanna is dressed in what looks like averyexpensive pantsuit and she has a sneer on her face from the moment I enter the room.
I don’t hear the first parts of the trial or Derek’s character witnesses, just waiting my turn in the lobby. Even testifying, in a way, feels like I’m overstepping.
I’m only a nanny, after all.
“How do you know the plaintiff?” Suzanna’s lawyer asks once I’m sworn in.
