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“On the way to school?” she asks after taking a bite.
“No, not yet. Maggie starts the next semester,” I explain. “We’re off to daycare.”
“Oh, which do you use?”
I look at her. “Why do you ask? You can’t have kids at your age.”
That probably isn’t the right thing to say to a total stranger, but she doesn’t balk at the question, in fact blushing a little.
“No, no kids yet. I’m just looking for a job.”
“Oh?” I ask, raising an eyebrow. ”What kind of work do you do?”
She’s looking down at Eli when she answers. “I’m taking a gap year for college, but I’m in early education. I just want to work around kids.”
This is probably not the best way to find a nanny, but it’s not like I have any prospects currently and I’d just witnessed her averting a major crisis with hardly a hair out of place or dropping her smile once.
“Have you thought about becoming a nanny?” I ask.
“Why? Do you know someone?” she asks, and I look down at my kids with a wry look on my face. She laughs, covering her mouth with her hand. “I’m so sorry; I should have realized.”
I shake my head. “Listen, I know this is weird and you don’t know me, but you’ve been great with my kids and I’m looking for someone – if I give you my business card will you email me your resume?”
She looks at me curiously. “Really?”
I reach into my wallet and hand her a business card. “Really. I’d love to interview you.”
Kenna gives me a soft smile and takes the business card. “Thank you. Really, I’ll send it right away.”
She walks toward the bathroom and I wonder if I fucked that completely up with my lack of social graces.
The kids have busied themselves with food and drink and painting and I smile at them, finally feeling like we’re settled for the first time this morning. I already had to deal with Maggie having a tantrum because she couldn’t find her pink shoes. She starts school next year because she has a late birthday, and so I have her and Eli full-time until then.
I’ve been a single dad for three years, and it doesn’t get any easier, but it also is rewarding. My kids love me and I’d die for them, so I’m happy.
Right?
It’s just that sometimes I feel like I’m drowning and I’m all alone, and it’s hard. How do you explain to the kids that their mother just left? They need a mother figure in their life. They might not have a lot of memories from her, though Maggie might, since she had just turned three at the time, but that doesn’t mean I’m enough.
And sometimes I just wish I had someone to help me get through the rougher patches. These kids are amazing, yes, but I struggle a lot and I miss having a helping hand. Not that Suzanna ever was one, but it would be nice to have someone to help me along the way, I think.
The kids are good while I drink my coffee and I’m grateful. I’ve been feeling overwhelmed lately.
Kenna happens to be walking out of the café at the same time that we are. Eli has chocolate from the cake pop all over his face and hands so I’m trying to keep him from wiping it on my suit as I wrangle him into the car seat.
“Kenna is here,” Maggie says quietly, and I look up at her.
“I’ll shoot you that resume,” she says confidently, and gives me a bright smile.
Maybe there’s a light at the end of the tunnel.
2
KENNA
Ismile as I get into my car, watching the silver fox who’s given me his business card and asked me to send a resume pull out of the café parking lot.
How lucky am I to get a job interview at a coffee shop on my first day home? I have to start looking for housing and a job, and this could potentially have both.
