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Her fingers fumbled with the string. She found Gavin’s wrist and hauled him to the surface. Moonlight and the dwindling fires from the explosion revealed a bloody gash on his head. He must’ve been knocked out by a piece of debris. Claire placed her finger under his nose, but couldn’t tell if he was breathing.
There wasn’t time. She needed to get to shore. “Don’t you dare die on me, Gavin Sterling. Do you hear me?”
Her fingers and toes were numb. Claire’s teeth chattered so hard, it hurt. She ignored everything. Keeping her gaze locked on the tree line, she swam. Claire prayed with every stroke. For strength. For Gavin’s life. For her own.
Blessedly, her feet hit bottom. Claire hauled Gavin closer to shore, using the last dredges of her energy to pull him free of the water. Her fingers shook uncontrollably. Still, she tried to find a pulse on Gavin’s neck. His skin was so pale.
Nothing.
No. No. No.She screamed the words in her head, even as she threw herself down on his chest, pressing her ear over his rib cage. Her fingers were too cold, too numb to check for his pulse. She had to listen for his heartbeat.
Claire held her breath.
Gavin rolled his shoulders as he buttoned his shirt in the hospital bathroom. Every muscle in his body ached, and despite the pain medication, his head throbbed. The gash near his hairline required thirteen stitches. A mild concussion and nearly drowning had earned him an overnight visit in the hospital. The doctor signed his release half an hour ago.
He opened the door leading to his room. Claire stood next to the window. She’d been examined for hypothermia and released. Their near death experience hadn’t prevented her from staying by his side for the entire night. She’d slept in the recliner next to his bed. Every time he awoke, in pain or confused, she’d been right there, holding his hand.
She turned, a smile playing on her beautiful lips. “You look much better than you did thirty minutes ago.”
“It’s amazing what a shower and clean clothes can do.” He crossed the room and pulled her into his arms. Claire sank into his embrace with a sigh. Her head rested against his chest. Gavin brushed a kiss across the top of her head, tenderness sweeping over him. “How are you doing?”
“Better now.” She tightened her arms around his waist. “Let’s never do that again, okay?”
“Which part? The bomb on the boat, nearly drowning, or hypothermia?”
“All the above.” She tilted her head to look him in the face. “You scared me, Gavin, and I don’t frighten easily.”
The look in her eyes…it was his undoing. He bent his head and kissed her gently. These feelings between them were uncontrollable. And growing with every moment together. Gavin couldn’t, in good conscience, continue without being fully honest with Claire.
He pulled back. “We need to talk. I know it’s not the best time, considering everything that’s going on, but things between us…”
“Are getting more serious than either of us intended?” Claire nodded. “I know. I feel it too. I care about you, Gavin. Pulling you from the lake last night, not knowing if you were dead…my feelings for you are deeper than I realized.”
“It’s the same for me, but I don’t want to mislead you. Ever.”
Confusion flickered across her face. “Okay.”
He took a bracing breath, ignoring the faint ache in his lungs. “Five years ago, I was a different person. My faith in God had faltered, and my lifestyle showed it. I met a woman named Willow through some mutual friends and we hit it off. Marriage and a family weren’t on my mind. I was focused entirely on my job, on becoming a Texas Ranger.”
Embarrassment heated his cheeks. Gavin released Claire and turned toward the window, crossing his arms over his chest. “Willow accidentally became pregnant. Our relationship was on the rocks at the time, but I pushed that aside and proposed. I wanted to do right by her. By the baby.”
Claire was silent. Gavin didn’t dare glance in her direction. He wasn’t sure he wanted to know what she was thinking.
“A week before our wedding, Willow miscarried. She was devastated. So was I. It’s hard to explain, but the baby was real to me. I’d been thinking about names. Imagining a little girl with my mother’s dark eyes or a son with my curly hair.”
He swallowed down the bite of pain that lingered, even after all this time. He felt rather than heard Claire draw closer. She wrapped an arm around his waist and leaned into him. “I’m sorry, Gavin. That must’ve been incredibly hard.”
Her kind words caused a lump to form in his throat. He placed a hand over hers. “Willow called off our engagement. At first, I thought it was grief talking. But then…she said I would never make a good husband or father. That my work is all that matters to me. She wasn’t wrong, Claire. Being a Texas Ranger has been my goal since I was young. It’s my life.”
“I understand that better than almost anyone. My job as sheriff is part of who I am, but I won’t lie. It’s a struggle to manage Jacob and my career.” She circled to stand in front of him. Claire searched his face. “I can understand why you’re hesitating, but are you saying you don’t even want to try?”
“I don’t know.” He cupped her face. “You’re amazing. So is Jacob. You both deserve the very best. I’m not sure that’s me.”
A knock came on the door, interrupting their conversation. Gavin swallowed a growl of frustration and released Claire. “Come in.”
Ryker pushed open the door. Mud coated the bottom of his jeans and his boots. A streak was on his shirt as well. Scruff covered the lower half of his face and his hair was sticking up in jagged peaks, as if he’d been running his hands through it. Dark circles shadowed the area under his eyes. He looked like a man who’d been up all night, probably because he had.
In one hand, Ryker carried a tray of coffees. Relief flashed across his features. “Good to see you standing on two feet again, Gavin. You still look terrible though.”
