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Suspicion scraped at me. “Yes. Answer him.”
She briefly closed her eyes. Then she looked me straight in the face. When she spoke, her voice was barely above a whisper, but it hit me with the force of a shout.
“You. I was here to slay you.”
My stomach clenched. Everything that had happened between us took on a different shade.
The connection I’d thought I’d felt.
ThatI love you.
Maybe she’d even been faking how much she liked the sex.
“So it was all an act,” I said flatly.
21
TWILIGHT
Brien’s face shuttered. I felt his withdrawal like a physical thing, and ithurt.
“No,” I said hoarsely. “It wasn’t like that.”
I hadn’t even been sure he’d come for me. At first, I’d been certain he would, but the time I’d spent locked in that windowless cell had done a number on me. As the hours went by, I’d begun to wonder if he’d abandoned me here.
What better punishment than to chain me in a dank, airless box and leave me to rot?
I’d come close to losing my shit. But I hadn’t.
No, I’d survived the way I always had—by closing my eyes and pretending this wasn’t happening. A bad dream.
And if it was my dream, then I could pretend I wasn’t even here, that I was actually outside with nothing but blue sky and sunlight as far as I could see. This time, though, I visualized a very specific place, the beach where I’d walked almost every day since arriving on Lilith Island.
I dug my toes into the sand, inhaled salty air, splashed in the surf. Flew with the seagulls above the endless cobalt ocean.
Now, though, I’d come back to the here and now with a thump—and it felt like my heart was breaking apart, piece by piece.
I moistened my lips. “I’m sorry. I should’ve told you before. I was going to tell you tonight.”
Cain shook his head. Brien looked at me like I was a snake beneath his feet.
Worse, I deserved it. I’d lied to him by omission.
Yeah, I’d had a good reason. And maybe in the end, it had even worked in Brien’s favor. But guilt still ate at me. He’d started to trust me, and I guessed he didn’t trust easily.
“It’s true,” I said. “I was planning to tell you everything. But I want you to know I never wanted to do it in the first place. I was blackmailed—they threatened my grandmother.”
Cain snorted.
I briefly closed my eyes. Even I had to admit it sounded like something I’d made up to save myself.
“It’s true,” I repeated.
“Who was blackmailing you?” Brien asked.
“Someone from Slayers, Inc.—a man named Kuro. A member of the Board—or at least that’s what he told me. He forced me to take that job at the Dahlia. I didn’t know then who they wanted me to slay.”
“So this Kuro gave you the weapon?” asked Cain.
