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“He’s used to you.” Devin sighed as she took him, waiting for the inevitable.
He began screaming within moments, little body thrashing as legs and arms kicked in uncoordinated fits. Gabriel wouldn’t let her hold him for any length of time, doing the same routine each time Rey pushed her to try.
She couldn’t blame him.
None of the mother’s instinct had come to her, no secret knowledge or understanding of what she was even doing. Rey had a better handle on what was happening than she did. She was Gabe’s milk cow and nothing more. He wouldn’t even let her breastfeed him, preferring to go hungry rather than withstand his mother’s touch.
“Take him,” Devin hissed, doing her best not to fling the screaming infant back at Rey.
“You have to try, Devin.”
“He doesn’t wantme!”
No matter how hard she tried or what she did, the little hellion wanted nothing to do with her. He cooed and babbled for his father, even his grandparents, but a single touch from Devin was enough to send him into a fury of epic proportions. Screaming until his little face turned beet red, voice growing hoarse, and Rey’s Alpha instincts overran his desires.
Rey sighed and took Gabriel back, the still tiny bundle quieting at once. He hiccupped and chirped his dismay at his daddy letting the evil monster touch him again, but he was calm once more.
Devin shoved herself off of the couch, doing her best not to run out of the room. She had no purpose anymore, but Rey insisted on keeping her there. She reveled in his touches, basked in his deep purrs, but she no longer belonged in any sense. Devin took up space she didn’t merit, and not even her own son wanted her.
Following close on her heels, Rey wouldn’t give her the space that she needed. There’d be no purrs, no warmth. Not while he held his precious baby close. He’d gotten what he wanted, and now he tortured her for no good reason she could see.
It was just punishment. She was a horrible mate, a terrible Omega, and an even worse mother.
“I have to…” Devin sat down hard on the side of the bed, hunched from the pain radiating through her chest. The tight confines of her bra were making her breasts ache, full of milk she needed to package away into little packets for Gabriel to consume later.
For two months the little boy had been locked away within the NICU, caged behind warm plastic and various tubes. Devin had tried to be the ever-dutiful Omega, but he’d hated her from the beginning. Crying every time she tried to touch him within his warm prison, he’d only allowed Rey to feed him skin to skin. Another month at home had made little difference. She’d been right in her thinking that Gabe fought his way free of her body the moment he had a chance.
“You have your appointment with Annan soon,” Rey said, voice thick as he nodded his chin at the clock. Without another word, he took Gabriel out, readying to feed him from yet another bottle.
Devin sniffled hard, yanking the dreaded machinery out of the drawer to pump. She winced and hissed as she settled it over her breasts and listened for the faint whirring and subtle whoosh.
Rey hadn’t sent her away. Yet. If she continued to prove what an awful mother she was, it wouldn’t be long now. Gabriel would make that an easy feat, unwilling to allow her to do the smallest things. Until that point, she’d take whatever succor Rey would give her, no matter how sick and greasy it made her feel to take what she didn’t deserve.
Sighing as the machine made hissing sighs, Devin tucked herself away and rose to package away the precious milk. This was her only use now.
At least her body was good at that.
A little while later saw her sitting in the car with her arm held tight to her side to avoid brushing against Gabe’s little feet as he sat tucked into his car seat. He was still small, though gaining weight and growing fast.
Dr. Annan’s practice seemed to grow closer each time they went, the respite from the misery saturated house gone before Devin could blink twice, and then Rey was escorting her back inside of it.
Settling into one of the comfortable chairs in a private room, she gently rocked Gabe’s seat to keep him dozing. So long as he didn’t see her doing it, he might not fuss.
“Good morning, Devin, Mr. Rey,” Dr. Annan said as she breezed into the room. All efficiency and action, she swooped in and asked Devin to extract Gabriel from his seat.
Devin gave Rey a helpless look, tears brimming in her eyes. She didn’t want anyone else to see this particular shame. It was a mercy she didn’t deserve when he sighed and pulled the little bundle free, his quiet purr keeping Gabe drowsing as Annan pressed a barely warmed stethoscope to his little chest and back. More examinations, measurements and weight, and Annan proclaimed him healthy as can be. More warning on what to watch out for as far as complications, but she gave him the all clear as she’d done every time before.
Then she rounded on Devin.
She made the right sounds as she checked Devin over but seemed to have little interest in her findings. Devin was maybe a tad underweight, but she forced herself to eat as often as Rey made her. There was nothing she could do about that.
“How long have you been like this,” Dr. Annan asked, the question snapped out into the air with all the force of a whip.
“I’m sorry?” Devin hugged her middle tight, shoulders rounding as she realized her play-acting had been such a thin façade. Of course Annan would know everything, how horrible she was at it all. The fact she never once touched Gabriel would have been all the proof the doctor needed as to what a miserable mother Devin was.
“The depression. How long has it been this bad?” Annan consulted her chart, making notes in her cramped scrawl.
“She’s been like this since before he was born,” Rey said quietly as he tucked Gabe back into his car seat, shushing the fussing baby until he dozed off once more. “It’s gotten worse since he came home though.”
