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I couldn’t get out more than a croak when I tried to answer him, so I cleared my throat and tried again. I still wanted to refuse to take the test, to hide from the truth a little longer, but it wouldn’t do any good.
“Yes.”
Even though I said I was ready, it still took all my concentration to uncurl my fingers from where they clutched his collar, then bring my arms from around his neck so I could straighten in his lap. His purr remained steady as he gave me all the time I needed even though I knew he was burning with the drive to know.
My breathing stuttered when I tried to stand and move away from the only thing keeping me together, so Leo pulled me back to him and carried me into the bathroom. He sat me on the counter, placing the seemingly innocent white box next to me. Even though I tried not to look at it, my eyes kept darting to the pictures that showed the two possible results.
One line for a return to normal, two meant my world changed.
Again.
“Do you want me to stay?”
It cost him to offer me space. To give me the chance to tell him to go away.
I could make him wait in the bedroom. I could dunk the tip in water so I’d be sure what the test would say.
But what good would it do? A negative test didn’t change the outcome, and losing his support right now was unthinkable.
“Yes.”
The subtle sigh he let out made my lips twitch, even if I wasn’t ready to smile. Leo tried to seem so calm andtogetherall the time, it had taken me a while to learn the tells for when he was worried. I didn’t think it was about the result as much as leaving me alone, and the pressure around my heart grew.
Would he be upset? Would he use it as an excuse to claim me now?
Would I let him?
My head started to spin again, and I leaned forward to press into Leo’s chest, dragging in breaths full of spiked vanilla coffee to give me strength.
I could do this.
Warm hands rubbed up and down my spine as Leo echoed my thoughts.
“You can do this. One step at a time.”
I nodded against him but didn’t pull away.
“First we open the box.”
I nodded again and heard his fingers fumbling at the cardboard tab holding the end of the box closed. After a moment there was the crinkle of a plastic wrapper, and the soft tap of the box hitting the counter again.
“I’ll open the wrapper.”
I swallowed as the crinkling increased before stopping suddenly. The hand that had left me returned to my back, and I imagined Leo standing there staring at the little stick.
Drawing on every bit of calm I could scrape from his purr, I forced myself to sit up and face reality.
“I can do it.”
Leo’s eyes searched mine before he stepped back to give me room to slide off the counter. My knees threatened to buckle when my full weight hit them, but I refused to allow it.
Leo’s hand had come around to rest on my hip, the other holding the white stick of doom. His brow rose when I snorted at myself, but he didn’t ask, and the little bit of humor helped me push on.
It was awkward to shuffle over and push down my skirt and panties and take a seat on the toilet. I’d been naked with Leo probably more than I’d been dressed, and he’d washed every inch of my body, so it wasn’t like he was unfamiliar with it, but there was something different about peeing in front of him. I hadn’t been sure I’d be able to, but sitting on the toilet seemed to trigger my bladder, because suddenly it was hard to hold it long enough to take the stick from his hand and pop the cap off.
I’d love to say it was easy let loose a clean little stream that landed perfectly on the absorbent tip and nowhere else, but it was surprisingly hard. Grimacing, I managed to get what I hoped was enough on it and put the cap back on as I finished. Setting it face down on the counter, I wiped and pulled my clothes back up, offering Leo a tiny smile when he turned the tap on in the sink so I could wash.
He picked up the box and read through the instructions I’d skipped, glancing at the watch on his wrist before tossing the box in the trash.
