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“Jesus. I’m so fucking sorry, Carmella. I didn’t… I didn’t know.”
I started to withdraw, but she reached back and grabbed my ass. “No. I -- I want this. Want you.”
“Honey, if I’d known, I’d have at least waited until we were at the cabin. With a nice bed. A pretty view.”
She looked at me over her shoulder, her body relaxing a little. “Casper, I just need you. I don’t need all that other stuff. I was a virgin when you married me, and I’ve remained one… because the only man I ever wanted to claim me was my husband.”
I pressed my forehead to her shoulder, trying to sort through the shit in my head. My cock jerked inside her and I decided to give us both what we needed. I started thrusting slowly, not wanting to hurt her more than I already had. The streak of blood on my cock made some possessive beast rise inside me. She was mine.Onlymine. No one had ever fucked her but me, and that’s how it would God damn remain until I drew my last breath.
“Hold on, baby. Rub your clit. I don’t know how long I can last, and I want you to come.”
Her hand disappeared between her legs and I felt her fingers brush against me as she flicked her fingers over her clit. I drove into her, harder and faster, going as deep as I could. Sweat coated our bodies. Her pussy clenched me tight as she came, crying out my name. It was enough to send me over the edge, and I pounded my cum into her.
Panting, I withdrew and stared as our mingled release trickled out of her and down her thighs.
Shit. I hadn’t used a condom. Hadn’t even thought about it.
She’d been a virgin. I didn’t think the odds were good that she was on birth control. My daughter was already grown, older than Carmella, and I was a grandfather. But as I watched my seed leak from her body, I realized that the thought of Carmella swelling with my child made a warmth settle inside me.
I jerked my pants up and lifted her. I strode over to the bathroom. Setting her on the counter, I helped clean her up, then washed my dick before tucking it back into my pants. There was a slightly dazed look in her eyes that made me smile. It seemed I hadn’t lost my touch. Pressing my lips to hers, I gave her a tender kiss before pulling away again.
“I hate to bring up something unsexy but necessary at a moment like this, but I’m clean so you don’t have to worry about catching anything.”
The light dimmed in her eyes and she dropped her gaze before nodding.
“Hey, pretty girl. I always got tested after I was with a woman.”
“I understand. You didn’t consider yourself truly married.”
I tipped my head and fought not to smile. “Carmella.”
She refused to look at me.
“Honey, I haven’t been with a woman since the day I married you. I won’t lie. I tried. Got her to a hotel room, watched her strip, and then… I didn’t get fucking hard. All I could see were your eyes and soft smile.”
“Am I supposed to be thrilled that you had a naked woman in a hotel room but couldn’t get it up?”
Well, this wasn’t going the way I’d anticipated. Then again, I’d never thought I’d want to keep her.
“I’m an asshole. I admit it.” I rubbed a hand down my beard. “Carmella, I haven’t been faithful to a woman since my late wife passed away. When she died, I vowed that I’d never love again, never get married. I broke part of that vow when I married you. Maybe part of me was trying to prove a point that night.”
“What point?” she asked.
“That even though I’d married you, I wouldn’t love you. I wouldn’t let you get close. And I wouldn’t break my vow to Isabella.”
Her gaze softened a little. “You promised your daughter you’d never fall in love? Never get married?”
I nodded. “I did. And I broke that promise.”
“Only part,” she reminded me.
I shrugged a shoulder, then pressed a kiss to her lips. “Maybe. But, honey, I think I’m already on the way to falling for you. I don’t want a divorce, Carmella. I’m keeping you.”
“And the woman in the hotel that night?” she asked.
“Haven’t thought of her since then. But I knew you deserved the truth, even if it didn’t paint me in a favorable light. I kissed her, flirted with her… but once her clothes came off, I realized I couldn’t do it. I walked out.”
She looked so vulnerable sitting there. I smoothed her hair back from her face and pulled her against my chest. I just held her, hoping she’d feel how sorry I was, how much I wished I could change the past. If I could do it all over again, I’d have never left her alone all these years. I wouldn’t have tried to sleep with another woman. And I damn sure wouldn’t have kept her from my family.
