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I heard a gagging noise again and turned to see Isabella had returned. Torch held her arm to keep her from running. She might as well get used to it. Carmella was here to stay. I wouldn’t keep her separate from the family anymore. She deserved better. She deserved… everything.
“Grandpa, will Santa find us here tomorrow?” Portia asked.
“Absolutely,” Carmella answered. “I happen to know that Santa is pure magic, and he knows where you are all the time, and if you’re being naughty or nice.”
Lyssa’s eyes rounded. “Oh, no. I was very, very bad. Is Santa going to give me coal since I sent those men to clean you?”
Carmella rolled her lips in and I knew she was trying not to laugh.
“I’m sure Santa understands it was a mistake. But you may need to be extra good all the way until next Christmas to make up for it,” I said.
Lyssa nodded her head so hard I thought it might fall off.
“All right, kids. Give your Grandpa and Grandma some space. I’ll carry our bags upstairs. The three of you can share a room right next to me and your mom so you don’t get into mischief. No sneaking downstairs in the middle of the night, or leaving your room at all,” Torch said.
As the kids marched out of the room, my daughter lingered a moment and came closer. She kept looking at Carmella, but I couldn’t tell what she was thinking. Usually, Isabella was an open book, but the one time I needed to know her thoughts, they eluded me. She kept a blank look on her face and stopped in front of my wife.
“My father promised me he’d never marry, never love anyone again after my mother died. She was his one and only.”
Carmella swallowed audibly, tears misting her eyes as she nodded. “I know. And he won’t break at least part of that promise. He didn’t have a choice but to marry me, but your mother will always be the woman he loves.”
It felt like ice water doused me from head to toe.
“Isabella, I need you to leave the room a minute.”
She nodded and walked out.
I faced Carmella and watched as the tears leaked from the corners of her eyes and down her cheeks. She hastily wiped at them, but more followed. I’d done this. Broken her.
I reached out and tugged her closer, wrapping my arms around her.
“Carmella, I know what I said before, and at the time it was true. I did make that vow to Isabella. I’d had every intention of keeping it.” She sniffled and tried to pull away, but I wouldn’t let her. “Then I got to know the stunning woman I’d married. Yes, I’ve been trying to knock you up on purpose. I want to see you swollen with my child, hold your hand as you give birth, and watch our son or daughter suckle at your breast. I want a life with you, Carmella. A real marriage, with laughter, kids… everything. Even love.”
She looked at me, waiting patiently for me to say the words she needed so desperately.
“I love you, Carmella. I didn’t want to, didn’t plan for it, but it happened. I’ve fallen for you, and I want to spend the rest of my life by your side.”
“I love you too, Casper, but… are you sure?”
I wiped her tears and kissed her. “I’m sure.”
Lifting her into my arms, I carried her upstairs and down the hall to our room. I could hear the grandkids squealing in the bedroom as far down the hall from the master suite as possible, and I was grateful Torch had done that.
I shut and locked the door and didn’t stop until I’d reached the bathroom. I set Carmella on the counter and started the shower, then stripped out of my clothes and pulled off hers as well. This time it wasn’t about sex, or making a baby. She needed comfort, needed to know that she was loved, and I was going to prove it.
I stepped into the shower and pulled her in behind me, then shut the door. I spent the next twenty minutes, washing her, touching her, and trying to convey everything I felt without words. She clung to me as the soap swirled down the drain, and I was sorry that I’d taken so long to go to her. We could have spent the last decade together, already had kids. All because I’d been determined to keep a vow I should have never made.
“I love you, honey. I’m sorry it took me so long to come for you.”
She went up on her tiptoes and kissed me, but I set her back.
“That’s not why I brought you in here. No sex. Not right now anyway. Later on you can show me just how naughty you are.”
She playfully smacked my chest.
“Maybe you can dress up as my sexy elf while I play Santa tonight.”
“Oh really?” she asked.
