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“What are you going to do about it?” The question was barely above a whisper as it left her.
A smile tipped the corner of my mouth as I shook my head. “Nothing.” I felt the disappointment radiating from her as her brows furrowed in agitated confusion. Lifting my hand again, I brushed my thumb over the wrinkles between her brows. “My company is my life, Lake. It wouldn’t survive an affair with a client, no matter how much I may want to give in.”
A hardness settled in her eyes as I drew that line in the sand between us. I hated seeing the cold anger directed at me. I wanted the softly panting and desire drunk Lake of moments before.
“I was hoping that by putting it all out there, we could finally get past the distracting arguments, so I can focus on protecting you the way you deserve.” I gave a sad smile and watched as shock played across her face at my physical expression of emotion yet again. Finally standing from my kneeling position on the floor in front of her, I adjusted my suit jacket over my stiff cock to hide the bulge, and cleared my throat attempting to pull myself from our intimate confessions.
“I’ve got to get back to work now. We’ll be moving you soon since this location has been compromised. With added police to proximity, I don’t see anyone coming back so quickly, but we don’t want to chance staying too long.” I turned and headed back for the control room, but Lake calling my name in that breathless lusty voice had me turning my head as I got to the doorway.
“What happens after you take care of the threats?” Her flush was so fucking tempting. A woman so secure in herself, blushing like a nervous school girl when trying to ask about our mutual attraction. The leash holding back that desire snapped clean through.
I ate up the space between us and snaking my hand around the back of her neck, I pulled her to her feet and slammed my mouth down on hers, feeling that formerly caged emotion howl in victory. Her lips were soft against my crushing kiss, and when her lips parted my tongue dove in, stroking against her, tasting coffee and something distinctly Lake. It was intoxicating and my free hand grabbed her around the waist and pulled her against me, the soft moan from her causing me to grind against her as we both gave in to the need stirring between us. Though it felt like I was drowning in her, I also felt freed, as if I’d finally broken the surface after years of drowning and struggling. All my inner demons fell silent as my entire being focused on the kiss and the woman I was clinging to.
Lake’s hands had moved from limp at her sides to gripping my shirt in her fists to pull me closer. An unspoken demand to give her everything. Fuck if I didn’t want to. My fingers tightened around the nape of her neck and I heard a purr reverberate from her chest as if all she’d needed was for me to take control. My mind swam with the instant fantasies about this woman submitting to my every need. I should have known her bold confidence in life had left her wanting to give up control to something. My dick throbbed painfully against my pants, aching with a need I’d never known before. I could feel the monster named desire in my chest pacing in a need for more and knew I had to stop before I couldn’t. Breaking for air, I rested my forehead against hers, still careful of the red mark from her bump. Lake was still gulping down air, eyes closed and unrefined in any way. I had never seen any woman as beautiful as her, and I knew in that instant that my plan to admit and never act had been doomed from the start. But there was a new plan forming already in my brain that had my smirk returning.
“After this is over, we pick up where we left off.” I watched her lust filled eyes finally open and meet mine. With a small kiss to the tip of her nose, I released her and was gone before she could argue. I needed to focus on the job now. Once I found our assassin and our penpal from Hell, Lake would be safe and free to see if she wanted to explore these needs with me.
CHAPTER 16
LAKE
Islammed the top of my laptop down and let out a frustrated grunt, glaring across the room at nothing in particular. I had been attempting to work for the last few hours and couldn’t stop my mind from wandering from the task to memories of Decker’s words caressing me as his hands roamed over my thigh. But more than anything, my lips still tingled with thoughts of that kiss. The kiss so full of power and promise of pleasure that I’d finally given up on work entirely.
I couldn’t stop the questions from popping up in the middle of trying to concentrate on work. Why? Why now? Why me? Why? He’d been gentler that morning when I had the sex dream turned nightmare. But even in the gentle tones and action, he hadn’t shown interest in the slightest. Then all of a sudden after I run, he’s tossing down this… thissex gauntlet!
Okay, so it wasn’t a sex gauntlet really at all since he said we couldn’t be anything. Yet. Dear God, why did everything have to be so confusing and vague with this man? I couldn’t stop my brain from spinning and going right back to the best kiss of my life. I was still reeling from the dream of his hands on me, and fuck if the reality hadn’t been better. The taste of mint on his tongue as he’d made love to my mouth had me almost panting as he’d left me alone in the library and I was dying for more. I still felt the restraint rippling through him as he’d held onto me, letting me imagine how he’d take me so dominantly if we could only go further. But we couldn’t and I understood the logic in it, even if it stung to know he could not and would not choose me over the job.
And why should he?I asked myself silently.You can’t show up, know the guy less than a month and expect him to just drop his whole life for you.
“Enough,” I scolded myself out loud when that lump of rejection swelled in the pit of my stomach. A therapist would tell me that I was projecting feelings of rejection onto him even though it was unfair. He wasn’t picking his job over me. He was choosing my safety. He couldn’t concentrate if I was the distraction, and I knew it as clearly as I knew he was distracting me from the work I needed to do. But if I were distracted, no one would die. That was the difference between our situations, and I wasn’t so ignorant or self involved that I didn’t recognize and respect it.
Pushing away from the desk, I stood and stretched my protesting muscles before slowly making my way to the door where I finally heard the noises from down the hall. It sounded like an entire moving company was in my house, boots clomping and heavy objects being moved around. When I made it to the room they’d designated as their control center, I was surprised to see it back to its old function as a room of leisure, the furniture back in place and looking as if it had never housed walls of monitors. A few of the silent men who had all been working on computers came in for the last of the boxes near the door as they gave me a polite smile and nod.
Leaving them to their work, I walked down the hall and into the kitchen where Fitz was perched at the island, eating a large sandwich and focusing on his phone. He looked up as I entered and gave me a warm smile that I couldn’t help but return. I went to the fridge, grabbing a bottle of water before taking the seat next to him at the island.
“So where are we off to now? Montana like my dad wanted?” I meant it as a joke, but honestly, I was starting to wonder if something isolated would be better or worse.
“While I’d love to get you off the east coast, I doubt it would change much and we don’t have safe houses in Montana.” He paused for a moment and then smiled. “Yet. I’m sure Decker is already working on expanding the business to include at least one safe house in every state. And I’m sure Kasey will use them as vacation homes like he already does. We’ll have to ban him from Hawaii.” I chuckled at his joke and when he looked at me again, I raised my eyebrows in silent argument that he didn't answer my question. “Jersey,” he said with a slight shrug. “Going home.”
“New Jersey ishome?” I couldn’t hide the distaste in my tone and Fitz nearly choked on his bite before wrestling it down his throat and laughing.
“Home office and where we tend to live when we aren’t on a job, yes. The building was affordable and still close to New York City where a lot of our clients come from.” He gave me a curious look before shaking his head. “Careful, your trust fund is showing.”
I flushed and looked down at my hands. I was being judgemental, and we both knew it. There was nothing wrong with New Jersey in reality, and I was letting my snobbish upbringing dictate my reaction to new places. “You’re right, so where in Jersey is the base of operations?”
“Hoboken.” He answered simply before shoving the last bit of his sandwich into his mouth then tossing the napkin that had been his makeshift plate into the trash. “Decker wants to get out of here and to the airport before dark, so if I were you, I’d get to packing.” He gave me a chin jerk of good-bye as he left the kitchen to get back to whatever he was doing before he’d stopped for the sandwich, and I took a sip from the water bottle ignoring the churning dread in my belly.
I’d felt safe in my home here in the Hamptons for as long as I could remember. Even after loss and backstabbing and every hurtful word, this had been my haven. That is, until some hired assassin had me in his crosshairs. When the last traces of safety had slid away, I was a mess, and now I had to go somewhere I didn’t know or really trust for safety? How was I going to do this without falling apart completely?
Jack’s words rang in my mind, bringing my racing heart back to a dramatic thump in my chest.
Broken does not mean fragile.
Five simple words that when arranged in that order shifted my world so drastically that I could feel my lungs open up once again and my breathing become easier. I picked myself up from devastation, disappointment, anger, fear and rejection. I could keep going, especially now that I wasn’t alone. I had a team of strong sexy men at my back making sure I was taken care of.
Clutching the water bottle with newfound bravery, I slipped from the stool and marched up to my room to start repacking my clothes and toiletries, taking the time to pack anything I may need for an extended stay somewhere I’d never been. That meant pulling an extra suitcase from the hall closet to accommodate my needs. I didn’t know how long I’d be there or if I’d even be allowed out to get anything I might need.Packing for the apocalypse, I mused as the bag quickly filled up with clothes, bottles of shampoo and perfume, and anything else that I could think to grab.
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