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I heard Scout sniffling from the chair I’d occupied for the past few days and wanted her to leave us. But I wouldn’t ask that of the woman who loved Lake just as fiercely as I did, even if they were in completely different ways. I heard the sounds of shuffling feet, and knew the room had begun to fill with the people who’d stayed, waiting for her to come back. Evan and his sister, Avery, Fitz, Cabot, John Landow… several of the men who had been in her detail in the Hamptons. Ellen Downing, Robert’s secretary, had arrived and sat in our hijacked waiting room with knitting needles and hadn’t left since.
“Everyone is right here, Lake. Your whole family is waiting for you to come back and give them all hell. I’m waiting. Fuck, I love you so much and I need you to check back in so we can talk about moving your stuff from New York. I’m going to wake up to you every fucking day for the rest of my life.” I sucked in a shaky breath and let it out in a woosh. “But I can’t do that if you don’t wake up now.”
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LAKE
Everything was blank.
My eyes were open, but I saw nothing, heard nothing, felt nothing. I was faintly aware that I wasn’t alone as I screamed out silently trying to claw my way back to the living. But it was pointless. The world that held my body was so far from the reach of my mind that I figured I must be dead. A soul trapped in between life and death, cemented into my body yet just as disconnected as a ghost tethered by its past to an empty home.
I was faintly aware of my body moving, not by my command, but then I felt it. Distant and almost insignificant at first. The zing of connection to the one man I’d prayed would pull me from the horror of that gray concrete prison. The one I’d silently said my goodbyes to as electric currents ravaged my insides. The feeling grew as I heard the faintest of whispers, growing louder with each word as the awareness of physical contact grew.
I couldn’t see him, but I knew Decker was there, holding me and talking to me, pulling me from the brink of nothingless with each syllable that fell from his lips. I could make out the heavy beat of his racing heart, feel the warmth of his hand on my thigh, and slowly the smell of hospital antiseptic began to grow.
And like a rubber band snapping back into shape, I slammed back into consciousness with a wounded sob. Instantly the heat of Decker against me flooded my senses. Then came the pain, the ache in my jaw, the thrumming sting across my thigh, and deep burning pain searing across the back of my body.
“Decker,” I cried out as I felt his hold tighten.
“I’m here, baby. I’ve got you.” His voice was in my ear and I felt his hand stroking down my hair as his rocking became too painful to bear.
“Hurts,” I managed to get out through the tears and immediately I was set back onto the bed as the room came back into view. I looked at the worried and shocked faces of the people crammed into the hospital room, I knew them all. Except for the tiny blonde at Evan’s side.
Then, nurses and a doctor were angling into the room and directing everyone out. They shuffled out the door, every single one casting worried looks over their shoulders as the nurses surrounded me, talking over my body like I still wasn’t there. Words were nothing more than noises as my brain tried to ignore the pain consuming me.
My hand shot out blindly reaching for the comfort that would keep me connected, and I felt his finger intertwined with mine in the next moment, a gentle squeeze telling me that he had me. The current between us, comforting the panic threatening to take over. And as warmth spread through my body, pain began to recede until the only thing I could feel was his fingers in mine, holding on like a lifeline. The darkness began to pull at my mind and my blinking became taxing as I fought to open them each time my eyes closed. I didn’t want to slip back into nothing. I wanted to stay here with Decker.
“Please,” I whispered as tears streamed from my eyes. But I couldn’t fight whatever drug was pulling me under and like a voice at the end of the tunnel, I heard him talking to me, murmuring words of comfort and I could have sworn, just as the medication took me under again, that he’d told me he loved me.
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As consciousness pulled me forward, the first thing I noticed was the feel of a familiar hand in mine. One that seemed to jump start my heart every time it made contact with my skin. Before my eyes opened, I was tightening my grip, refusing to lose him again. The haze of sleep receded and with more effort than I wanted to admit, I blinked into the dimly lit room.
My head dropped to the side where my hand was being held almost too tightly, and my eyes connected with a pair of hazel ones, holding more emotion than I’d ever seen before. Gratitude, relief, and love swam in the depths of his eyes as he blinked back tears. I’d never even imagined a day where I would witness Decker Mullins cry and that unfamiliar sight made me nervous.
“Am I dead?” I asked, throat catching and coughs wracking painfully through my body.
“No, Lake, you’re too stubborn to die.” His words were light and playful as he reached forward with his free hand and something cold and wet was slid between my dry lips. An ice chip melted onto my tongue and did nothing more than make me ache for more. Something to drown the feeling of gravel in my throat.
“My dad,” I croaked, feeling the tears well in my eyes. Decker slipped another ice chip into my mouth and gave me a sober nod.
“I’m so sorry, Lake.” I wasn’t sure if he even knew what he was apologizing for. Sorry that my dad was dead or sorry that I’d been forced to watch it then was trapped with his body for who knew how long? Both caused grief to fill my heart until it was drowning me.
“I need you,” I whispered, desperately clinging to the hand still holding mine.
“I’m right here, love,” he said, giving me his best attempt at a reassuring smile.
“Closer.”
I knew he heard the plea in my voice when he inspected me from head to toe before untangling our hands. I felt the loss of him instantly and it was its own kind of pain. A hollow ache of longing that was just as painful as the physical injuries littering my body. But miraculously he was back again, somehow shifting me until he lay on the bed as well, my body draped against his. His hand began a feather light trail along my hip as he kissed my head.
“It’s over, Lake,” he whispered into the silence that had fallen over the room, the muffled sounds of activity buzzing just outside the door. “Dominic is gone. I got you back, and I’m never fucking letting you go.”
“I dreamed you loved me,” I was already groggy again. Sleep was pulling at me now that my body was wrapped around safety and relaxing.
“Not a dream, baby, I love you so much, it’s probably not healthy.” I smiled against his warm chest and lifted an aching arm to place my hand on his chest, over the scar and in a place I’d claimed the moment I’d claimed him.
“Love you too,” I exhaled in a whisper as my eyes closed and I felt sleep pull at my eyelids all over again. I was so sick of sleeping. I wanted to stay awake. I wanted answers and to hold on to Decker and tell him everything that had happened and how I’d prayed for him to come for me.
