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Yet, I do talk. I tell Mary about the lie I created to get my parents off my back about being single, the two nights in Orlando that led to my current condition, and the feelings I had for him in high school; I spill all of it.
"Now I'm going to his premiere, and I haven't told him I'm pregnant yet, and I don't know how to. I don't want to lose him and don't know how he will take the news. I feel like I have just messed up everything. I must also shop for a dress to disguise my growing belly."
My client pats my hand in sympathy. "No, you haven't messed up anything. You might have suggested the charade, but there were two of you in that room in Orlando. Trust me, the best thing for you to do is to come clean; tell him about the baby and how you feel about him, how you have always felt about him while you're there for the premiere. Tell him your plans for the future, and then come back and help me finish this album. The ball will be in his court once it's out in the open."
I consider her advice and know deep down she is right. I just need to go there and rip off the Band-Aid and tell him how I have always felt about him and that we are having a baby. Get it all out in the open. No more hiding behind the friend zone. No more pretending I don't have deeper feelings. We are adults and should be able to talk about these things.
"Thank you for listening and for your advice. I feel so much better having a plan of action." We chuckle and get up to walk back to the studio.
The rest of the day flies by, and I'm focused and attentive. My client and I can duck out for a shopping trip, and we find a beautiful sequined dress in black that will be perfect for the premiere and hide all bodily changes.
I get home, kick off my shoes, pour juice, and sit down to look at my phone. I have several missed calls from Aaron, plus a couple of voicemails; the last one is urgent. I call.
"Erica. Hi. I have been trying to get a hold of you. Where have you been?"
"I'm so sorry, Aaron. I was working with my client to finish her album's first half before I left for your premiere. My phone must have been on silent. We have had a hectic schedule. Why the urgency?" I ask.
"Have you not seen the photos of you leaving a clinic floating around the internet?" Aaron's voice is gruff.
"No, I haven't. Hang on a minute," I say as I look up the photos Aaron's talking about.
Good grief. I look like hell. Geez, the paparazzi are sneaky bastards. I don't even remember seeing anyone out there as I was leaving. Honestly, I was in no condition to notice anything that day.
"Okay, yes, I had to go to the clinic. I got some sort of food poisoning from a piece of cake at a party I went to with my client." I hear relief in Aaron's voice and wonder what he's been thinking all day.
Given the secret growing inside me, I feel a bit queasy at the thought that his worry was warranted.
"I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation. You wouldn't believe the rumors that were sparked by those photos." He sounds stressed.
"Are things going okay with the post-production and the premiere? Any delays or postponements?" I attempt to bring his thoughts back to his situation and off of mine.
"Yes, things are right on time. Initially, I didn't think they would be, with all the bickering and arguing at the beginning. Things calmed down after that, though."
"I am still invited to the premiere, aren't I?" I joke tentatively like we usually would, and I feel better.
"Of course, silly," Aaron claps back, and we catch up on how things are going with the premiere.
He tells me more stories about the editors' antics and egos. Then, we confirm the dates and times for him to pick me up at the airport.
"Erica?"
"Yes?"
"Let's not let so much time go by between calls going forward. I was worried about you." The care in his voice is so tender, and a wave of guilt courses through me.
In my head, I say, "I'm so sorry, Aaron."
"You're completely right. I promise not to get so busy I can't call you back. I am looking forward to seeing you, Aaron."
"I can't wait to see you either."
We chat about small details for the premiere, then say goodbye and hang up.
I can't remember a time when Aaron sounded so worried about me. I usually don't give him a reason to. This time, though, there was something in his voice that I couldn't quite put my finger on. This time tomorrow, I hope his tone doesn't change to anger or disappear into silence.
After looking at those pictures, I'm glad I didn't go with the black, slinky, sexy number I had picked out initially. I have to be truthful, I have been noticing a slight issue getting into some of my clothes, but I'm sure I haven't gained that much weight. The doctor was worried about my weight gain, so I found my scale and stepped on it. The numbers don't look good. I strip down and look at myself in the mirror. Hmmm, my boobs have gotten bigger. Shoot. I must wear some Spanx under my dress to smooth everything out. This baby is wreaking havoc on my body right now, at the most inopportune time. I was hoping that when Aaron saw me in my gown, he would have eyes for no one but me.
Chapter Seventeen
