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I feel bad about all of it, but I don’t know why. I didn’t do anything wrong, but it still feels like I did.
After waddling home from the waterfall, my shirt clutched around my waist, Polly found me moping under a palm tree and invited me out for some drinks. I went with her because I wanted to spend time with a friend, and the fact that Holden was working last night was a plus.
I wanted to see if he looked any different, if fucking someone else after he had just been with me made him feel a little guilty. But when I’d laid eyes on him, he looked so damn good, happy even.
Maybe that’s what happens when you have sex with two different people on the same day.
When we entered the bar, Holden was doing what he always does, smiling and flirting with the customers. I couldn’t stand it, so I led Polly to a far side of the bar where we could sit in the shadows, my back to him. Polly could tell something was off, and when she brought me back a dark ale and set it in front of me, she arched an eyebrow at me and asked, “What did you do to piss him off?”
I didn’t answer because I’d done nothing wrong. I mean, I left him there under that waterfall because I didn’t want to see him get railed by some other dude. And I sure as hell wasn’t going to join in. I might be fucking Holden casually, but I have zero interest in anyone else.
I groan in remembrance of it all and roll to my side, glancing at the clock on the nightstand and realizing I have an hour before I have to get to work.
Hell. I’m so not in the mood.
“Hey,” a familiar voice says beside me, and I careen off the bed, my ass hitting the floor with a smack.
Polly peers over the side of the bed with a smile, looking adorably rumpled. “You’re just a big scaredy cat, huh?”
“What the hell?” I ask because there’s no way I fucked her, right? Here I was judging Holden for fucking someone else, and I got my dick wet? Oh hell. I’m gonna be sick.
She must see the color drain from my face. “No, don’t worry. We didn’t have sex. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t die in your sleep. Holden would never forgive me.”
My stomach settles at the revelation, and I shake my head, swallowing. “I don’t think he cares much what I do.”
“Oh,” Polly begins, patting me on the head a little condescendingly. “He totally does. He was glowering at us all night. And when he saw you stumble out with me, he was gripping the bar top so tightly, I am pretty sure he’s gonna have blisters on those fingers of his.”
I push myself up and rub my sore ass, glancing down at Polly who just rolls over on her back and blinks up at me. Like a cat basking in the sun.
“Thanks for making sure I didn’t die,” I say, and she nods, stretching out and then rolling off the bed. She stands up, moving toward the door, far too chipper, if you ask me. I feel like death warmed over.
“Well, my job is done then, it seems. You’re alive. You gonna be okay?”
My hand runs through my hair, making it stick straight up. “Yeah, gotta get ready for work.”
Polly pulls the door open and steps out and just as she does, Holden walks by, his hair wet, his body slightly tanner than it was yesterday. He must have been out surfing or bobbing that ass on the waves.
Fuck, he looks good.
His eyes slam into mine before moving to Polly. His features harden slightly as his gaze shifts forward, and he walks into his room, the door slamming shut.
Never heard a door shut that hard before. Must need some new hinges.
Polly huffs a small laugh.
“Men. Always so dramatic.” She leans up and presses a kiss to my jaw. “Don’t let him stew too long. Might break him. Holden isn’t used to feeling jealous.”
And then she walks off, leaving me so fucking confused. I’m not quite sure what to do. I have no fucking clue.
So I do what I do best—I pretend it doesn’t exist.
Holden is future me’s problem.
I close the door and slink into my bathroom, taking an extra-long shower. When I move out of my apartment and down to the small cafeteria to grab a late breakfast, I see a group of workers chatting. Atlas glances over at me and holds my gaze for a moment, but I’m the first one to break the stare. I don’t have time to look into people’s eyes and wonder what they’re thinking. Devon is going to bite my head off if I’m late. We are working in the hotel again, where Molly is, and I get the feeling that he wants to impress her or something. I don’t want to make him look bad.
I grab my breakfast burrito and turn to walk out when Atlas jogs up to me.
“Hey, man!” he says with a wide smile, clapping me on the back. My burrito is jostled, and I frown because I don’t want to lose my breakfast. The monkey might make off with it, and he already has my pants and boxers. My flip-flops too. Pretty soon he will have my whole wardrobe. Like hell I’m handing over my food too.
