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“Stop it,” he says much too calmly.
I feel so out of control. My eyes sting, my heart hurts. My lips…my fucking sore mouth.
“Fuck. You,” I hiss, my voice cracking shamefully. “You don’t know what that meant to me, and you’re throwing it away. You’re throwing me away. Just like everyone else has.”
Chase cocks his head, watching me with that gaze that drives me batshit crazy, and then before I can blink, I’m pulled against him, those strong arms hugging me tightly.
“Nah. No, I’m not. Shhh…you’re okay, Holden,” he says softly, and my entire chest expands with those words. “I haven’t been with anyone else. Just you.”
This admission makes me sag against him. I didn’t want him to be with anyone else. No one but me.
“Yeah. Same,” I whisper.
It’s all I can say. I have nothing else left inside of me. I’m just a mess of swirling emotions.
“I’m sorry that stressed you out. Didn’t mean it to. Didn’t think you cared…”
I bury my face in his neck and let him hold me. For just a moment, I let myself be weak. And when I feel like I’m no longer going to burst out crying, I pull back, trying to move away, feeling so damn embarrassed about my outburst when I’m usually so calm and collected. But before I can, he stops me.
“No. Come on. I’ll walk you home.”
I peer at him, confused at how someone can be so pure. I’ve never experienced another human being like this. I didn’t even know they existed.
“I don’t need to be walked home.”
“Yeah, you do,” he replies, and I sigh when he grabs on to my hand and pulls me down the trail toward the apartments. It’s a long walk, and I feel his skin against mine, burning me to the core. I want nothing more than to beg him to stay, to hold me a little longer, but my little breakdown has left me feeling raw and exposed. I can’t put myself out there again. I’m feeling a littletoo muchfor this guy at the moment, and it would probably be better for me to be left alone so I can process it. I need to figure out what to do about him.
But all of my worries are obliterated when, instead of dropping me off at my door and walking away like I assumed he would, he pulls me into his apartment.
And I don’t stop him. I follow him in and stand there, taking in his sparse and modest space. Even though it would probably be better for me to be left alone, I don’t really want to be. I want him with me tonight.
“I’m not leaving you alone when you’re upset. Come here,” Chase says, sitting on his bed and holding his arms open.
I should roll my eyes at how ridiculous he looks, but instead, I just end up straddling those big thighs, resting my head on his shoulder, and wrapping my arms around him.
His hand moves in soothing circles across my back, and I sigh against him. He smells so damn good, like bonfire smoke and coffee. So damn manly.
“You’re a good kisser,” he says softly, and I huff a small laugh.
“Yeah. You are too.”
His hand moves up my spine, bumping along the ridges and massaging my neck. I lean into him, feeling a tingle spread through my body, my lips aching to be pressed against his once more.
I lean back slightly, my eyes meeting Chase’s and then they fall to his mouth. It can’t be helped, now that I’ve had a taste, my gaze is drawn to those lips.
His breath comes out slightly stuttered, his fingers curling into fists on my back, almost like he’s trying to hold back. But I don’t want him to. I want him to show me how much he wants me.
He doesn’t move though, just sits still. Fuck him for making me do this.
My fingers slide up his arm and cup the back of his neck, then my lips slam onto his, sucking, biting, pulling. Just a clash of teeth and spit and tongue. I don’t even ease into it. I can’t. I’m just full speed ahead.
We moan into each other, our desperation loud, our hips rocking as we chase the sensations sparking between us.
“Oh fuck,” I gasp when I feel his cock sliding against mine. I want it in me.
But I don’t want to stop kissing him. I want to savor this for a while longer.
My hands slide up into his hair as I lick into his mouth, wanting to shed my clothes, to be naked against him. Wanting nothing separating us. Not being near him for this long has been driving me mad.
