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He looks at me, a melancholic smile playing on his lips.“I’ll never be that guy, you know.”
“Which one?”I ask.
“The one you fell in love with all those years ago.”
My heart aches at his confession, but I squeeze his hand reassuringly.“It’s okay.I want to fall in love with the man you are now—the man you’re becoming.”
“Can you ...Can you take me to bed?”he asks, his voice barely audible.
“Only if you let me love you gently,” I reply, my words firm.“I won’t play your game again.Not this time and probably never again.”
ChapterNineteen
Greyson
Every stepwe take toward his room, I have to remind myself that he’s doing this not to use me, but because we need each other.Because my soul is bleeding, and I need him to tend to it.I’m desperate for his healing touch.
Sanford closes the door and cups my face with both hands.His eyes hold mine.His stare mirrors my burning desire.It’s a powerful force, enough to tilt my world off its axis, pulling me toward him.I yield, pressing my lips against his, my tongue exploring the familiar terrain of his mouth.
We’ve shared numerous kisses over the years, but none quite like this.Our souls fuse into hot flames, creating a wildfire that feeds off each other.The raw connection is intoxicating.I can’t stifle my groans.My hand reaches up to pull him closer, the kisses growing fervent until he pulls away, gasping for breath.
With my mind in a haze, my heart and soul take the reins.“I need you,” I beg, desperation seeping through my words.“I need you to take away this fear, to make me feel whole, even if it’s just for tonight.”
His reply comes in panting breaths.“Whatever you need, babe.”
His hands sneak beneath my shirt, and a groan escapes me.Like warm embers, his fingers trail up my chest, pulling my shirt off and throwing it to the floor.I follow his lead, removing his clothes, and tracing my hands along his skin.
Sanford drops to his knees, his skilled fingers making quick work of my belt and zipper, guiding my pants down my legs.A shudder ripples through me as his fingertip traces a tantalizing path along my skin before wrapping his tongue around my cockhead and taking me into his mouth.
The feeling makes me groan out loud.“Fuck,” I say, pushing myself deep down his throat.
My legs quake as he firmly grips my behind, drawing me even deeper.He intensifies his movements.I involuntarily rock my hips once before he releases me, tracing his tongue along my length to a sensitive spot.He teases me there, slipping a finger inside me.
We’ve been here before, but it feels like ages ago since I’ve felt the fullness of his mouth while his fingers work their magic, coaxing my arousal to new heights.I’m teetering on the edge, a chorus of moans escaping me.I’m so close, but this isn’t how I want to come.
“I need you inside me,” I plead.
His head pulls back, sucking one last time before releasing me, and delicately laps the soft slit of my head.
“Lie down,” he instructs, his gaze directed toward the bed.
Casually, he reaches for the nightstand, retrieving a tube of lube.He preps us both, slowly stretching me with one, then two, and finally, three fingers.I groan, pressing into his touch.My body is buzzing, aching for release.
Sanford moves over me, his strong body pressing down until every muscle lines up with mine.I love this feeling.The feeling of his weight on top of me—being anchored.
“I missed this version of you,” he murmurs, his fingers tenderly tracing my face.“So damn much.It hurts sometimes.But this is it, isn’t it?We’re going to get through this.We’re not playing any more games or hurting each other.”
“I’m trying.I’m trying so fucking hard,” I say, catching his mouth in a desperate kiss, our bodies sliding together.His hand makes its way back, pressing into me, stretching me once more before his thickness pushes against my entrance.
With one smooth motion, he fills me completely.A gasp tears from my throat—part pain, part pleasure.“Fuck.”
The feeling of him, of being completely taken, sends tremors through me.“Wait,” I whisper.
I need a moment to adjust, to savor this connection.I can already tell neither of us will be able to hold back for long.
“Ready,” I say.
He holds my hips, withdrawing slowly before driving back into me.A groan resonates deep in his chest, matching the rhythm of our bodies.His length slides in and out of me, each stroke hitting that sweet spot, pushing me closer to the edge.My need to release, for him to fill me, grows unbearable.
