AllFreeNovel
Share Us
I stare at him, but I don’t want to need him.I can’t afford to.The void of his absence still hurts deep within me.And though I understand why it happened, the sting of his abandonment might never heal.
Plus, I have to pull myself out of this hole, claw my way out with my own hands or just do what she did and give up—because what’s the point of living with so much pain?
The momentour plane touches down, there’s a helicopter already waiting for us.We’re immediately whisked away to a helipad in Queens, and from there, it’s only a short drive to an apartment building that stands tall but is worn with years of use.
The entrance is marked by an iron door, showing spots of rusted metal where its paint has worn thin.Stepping inside, our footsteps echo down the hallway, bouncing off the faded paint on the walls and dimly lit fixtures.
“How are you holding on?”San asks.
“During the flight, I spoke with my sponsor and therapist.I might need to drop by a psych ward afterward or rehab, but I’ll manage,” I say as if we’re discussing the weather instead of my mental health.
Lang steals a glance my way.His gaze is piercing and analytical.He remains silent, a gesture I appreciate.I like him, but sometimes, his sharp tongue makes him sound like an asshole.I can’t handle him while I’m teetering on the edge of an abyss, ready to plunge headfirst into the darkness.
Sanford reaches over and takes my hand, his grip firm as if trying to tether my soul to his so I don’t just leave.I can hear the silent plea in his voice as he whispers, “Don’t you dare leave me.”
I bite back a retort, stifling the surge of bitter laughter threatening to bubble up.This poor man is trying to deal with my demons, his, and the fact that she’s gone.
Aerin fucking left us, but it’s because we weren’t there for her.Because I couldn’t save her.
Sanford taps his chest gently as though trying to soothe his pounding heart.
“Fourth floor,” Lang says, his eyes focusing on his phone.“I have to call Finn.He’s found something else.Try to reason with this person before we pull in the lawyers and crush them.”
“We’re in this together.I won’t let you go.”San’s voice breaks through my reverie as we climb the staircase.
And I have to be honest with him.“But you have to if I ask you to, if I ask you to do it.”I set the boundary I discussed earlier with Dr.Prescott.“You promised that after this, you’d walk away.”
“How can I convince you that I love you?”His voice is thick with longing, the words hanging heavy between us.
It’s on the tip of my tongue to ask if he is in love with me or the ghost of who I was before the tragedy.He doesn’t get that he’s in love with the idea of the people we were and the life we promised to create.He wants to reclaim those shattered dreams, and I doubt he’ll ever want to be with the broken man I am today.
I could go on and on about that, but instead, I say, “You’re going to have to give me time and space.I’m just a step away from searching for a dealer or disappearing to somewhere safe.You can’t help me.Only I can do that, and you have to let me deal with it.”
“I’m trying,” Sanford admits, his voice barely audible, a whisper that gets lost in the old walls of this building.
As we reach the fourth floor, I take a deep breath, trying to fill my lungs and body with some courage.San does something similar, and before either of us regrets this, I step forward and rap my knuckles against the door.
The door swings open, and all the air is squeezed out of my lungs.“You’re alive,” I whisper.
“Thank fuck,” Sanford mutters, but we’re both frozen in place, staring at the most beautiful woman in the world.
After taking several breaths, I finally say, “Ae.Aerin, baby, you’re here.”Without hesitation, I take her into my arms.Engulfing her in a hug, absorbing her as I take in her scent, familiar yet subtly changed.
She’s still here.She didn’t give up, and that’s good enough.
As I nestle closer to her, my soul sinks into a foreign calm, her heartbeat thrumming against my chest, a steady and comforting rhythm.The whisper-soft brush of her breath against my arm sends a shiver running through me.
This moment—her and me—it’s nothing short of a miracle.We finally exist here in the now, together.Even when the world crushed our hearts and we barely found a reason to breathe, she’s here.But I just can’t stay with her.
I reluctantly release her and look at Sanford.“Take care of her, don’t fuck it up this time.”My words come out as a stern warning, and though I should also say goodbye, I don’t.
I turn on my heel, leaving them so they can seek the happiness we once envisioned together.
ChapterThree
Aerin
At the firstshrill ring of my phone, I wince.Who in their right mind dares to call me at this ungodly hour?Like seriously, it’s not even six in the morning.My brain doesn’t start to function until I’m done with my daily meditation and have breakfast.I don’t look at the screen.Whoever is calling can leave a voice message.
