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I fall back on my bed atop the piles of clothes and clutch my phone to my chest in excitement. I’ve been planning for this trip for months, from the moment I found out my mother was traveling to Florida, preferring to spend the holiday lying out on a beach rather than skiing down the slopes. It’s typical of her to make plans for everyone, specifically plans she knows will not include me.
My mother knows I’m obsessed with everything about Christmas - the classic traditions, the snow - everything I would miss out on if I went with her to Florida or stayed back home in California. It’s why she specifically booked us a two-week stay at Mar A Lago. Of course I refused to join her but it didn’t hold her back from leaving without me.
Which left me with no other choice than to make plans of my own.
That’s when I reached out to Zane.
I admit after not having talked to him in two years, it was a little weird to throw this last-minute visit on him but it was my only chance to do something I wanted.
Even though he wasn’t my blood, Zane and I always got along better than I did with my mother. He understood me in a way no one else had. Well, no one but Avery, though sometimes it’s hard for Avery and me to see eye to eye given we’re so different.
Zane and I are both introverts, always preferring to spend a night in rather than go out, typically hiding in the shadows rather than shining in the limelight like my mother and Avery.
Avery commands attention wherever she goes, and you have no choice but to give it to her. Not because she’s some stuck-up bitch who lives for drama and being the center of attention but because the moment you catch a glimpse of the beauty with crimson hair the same shade as fresh blood, eyes a bold blue like the deep waters of Santorini, and a figure that belongs on the latest Sports Illustrated centerfold, there’s no way you’ll be able to look away.
She’s absolutely stunning, bold, blunt, and outgoing. Avery speaks her mind, everyone be damned, and gives absolutely no fucks whatsoever. She’s an alluring siren with the mouth of a sailor and I became obsessed the day I met her.
How could I not? She's the complete opposite of me. Where she’s spontaneous and willing to try new things for the hell of it, I calculate my every move thanks to my overly pretentious and anal mother.
Everything about me is cookie cutter basic. Plain blonde hair, unimpressive blue eyes, and a facial composition of literally every other girl living in and around Beverly Hills, the only thing that sets me apart from everyone in my life is my deep-seated love for Christmas.
I mean what’s not to love. Don’t get me started on Hallmark Movies.
However, Zane gives Ebenezer Scrooge a run for his money. He’s as cuddly as the Grinch and as festive as Oogie Boogie. Not to mention he hates surprises but since this is potentially my last opportunity to spend a Christmas with him before I head off to college in Florida this Spring and probably never have time to see him again, I have to make it count.
Zane and my mom divorced two months after Christmas. How they lasted so long, a record four years for my mother, is a fucking mystery to me. Well not really, I know I was the reason.
While my mother attended various galas and lavish red carpet events with her groups of Botox infused friends, Zane accompanied me to ballet practice, attended every one of my recitals, and even continued his freelance photography business, all while raising a daughter who wasn’t his.
The divorce was ugly, and that’s putting it nicely. Of course it was my mother’s third, but it took a bigger toll on me than I care to admit. Zane was my best friend and confidant, and it hurts that I only got to see him once after the divorce.
The Christmas after their divorce was finalized, my mother tried to convince Zane to give their marriage another shot. Mom and I flew out to Colorado to surprise Zane, but nothing went as she’d planned. I knew Zane was furious. It was obvious from the moment we appeared at his doorstep that he didn’t say a word. I know that’s because the smile and excitement written on my face was something he couldn’t bear crushing.
After those three days we spent with him, he never again answered my texts.
Zane is the most important person in my life. He’s the only man I’ve ever loved.
That’s the only secret I've ever kept from him.
And it’s a damn big one.
* * *
“I can’t believeall of this is really snow!” Avery shrieks as she stares out the window at the snow-covered Rocky Mountains. The sheer look of joy on my best friend's face, one I don’t remember ever seeing in the five years I’ve known her, is exactly why this time of year means so much to me. The cheer, joy, and magic Christmas brings, makes all life’s insignificant problems fade to dust. It’s why the moment Avery mentioned her mom was taking off with her flavor of the week, I knew I had to do something about it.
I couldn’t let my best friend be miserable during the best time of the year. This is a time to spend with family or loved ones, and no one deserves to be alone.
So here we are, over one thousand miles away from home, ready for whatever this week may bring. To say I’m excited is the understatement of the century. This year feels different. I’ve spent too much time not enjoying life to the fullest. I’ve been so careful and have calculated every one of my decisions, weighed every consequence, and made lists of pros and cons. For the first time in my life I'm ready for spontaneity. Ready for whatever this trip will bring.
“Just wait till you see the cabin,” I say staring out the car window at the beautiful mountain resort nearby. I remember our trip up there the first year Zane moved out here. It was the week after Christmas, the last time my mother allowed me to come out here during the holidays. Of course she demanded I let her tag along, and well I was surprised she wanted to, given her marriage with Zane hadn’t ended on a friendly note. To say it was an awkward trip isn’t the correct way to describe it. Nonetheless, it’s definitely one of my favorite holiday memories.
The snow was piled high, perfect for skiing. I’d never been and Zane was eager to show me how. I’d never had so much fun yet was so miserable at the same time because I knew this would be the last time I’d see him. Obviously, I was horrible at it, not able to balance on the skis for the life of me. Zane tried his best to guide me but after the tenth roll down the bunny slopes, we called it a night. My mother of course never once joined us out there. Instead, she spent her time at the resort spa, and drinking champagne out in the hot tub on the patio of our room.
Maybe Zane will take us again this year. I’m sure Avery would love it.
“Zane lets me decorate the inside of the house since the outside is usually too covered in snow to set up any lights. He used to put an inflatable grinch in the middle of the lawn as a joke since I always compared him to the cranky green guy.”
Avery chuckles at the picture of Zane I’ve painted for her. Since our friendship was fairly new during the time Zane and my mother already had problems, I don’t think Avery ever officially met him. Not that she’d have forgotten him if she had.
