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“My father has been experimenting with that poison since I was seven,” I whispered, my chest tightening. “He gave the first few doses to my mother and killed her brain. Her body was still intact, but her brain was fried. Then … when he couldn’t use her anymore, he shipped her away from me.”
Pain shot through my body, tears filling my eyes. I clutched on to him tighter because I couldn’t believe that I was saying this out loud. I had never told anyone, not even Jaroth, about my mother. I had been living a lie since I had been a child.
“When she was gone, he started giving it to me. The first few doses hurt me really bad. I couldn’t go to school for months. I’m not sure if you remember when my father told you guys that I had the measles whenever you came to visit.”
Darius tensed. “You didn’t have the measles. It was … that poison?”
A sob escaped my lips. “Yes.”
While Darius stayed quiet, he pulled me into his lap and leaned against the headboard, forcing me to look right at him. His black eyes were filled with so many emotions—so many—but I could only recognize the pain that mirrored mine.
“I’m sorry,” he said, voice breaking, “that we couldn’t protect you.”
“I … I’m not finished,” I whispered, curling my fingers into his thick chest muscles. “He would give me that poison and paralyze me with it. The first few times, he left it at that and studied my body. Then, he’d …”
Another pain. Another fucking stab in my heart.
“He’d what?”
“He’d invite his friends over,” I whispered, body heaving back and forth. “I was seven! Seven years old when they started raping me, and I thought that was what everyone did. I didn’t know any different. I thought it was normal! I thought it was fucking normal!”
More sobs escaped my lips. My body trembled violently back and forth. I couldn’t stop myself, nor did I want to. I needed to get this out and tell someone so badly. I couldn’t bottle it up anymore, not when I had finally realized that all this was wrong.
“They hurt you,” he whispered, fingernails lengthening into claws against my flesh. “Who were they?”
“Powerful people,” I whispered. “The most powerful people in each species.”
“What are their names, Sina?” Darius asked, his canines lengthening. “Tell me.”
“There is no point. You’ll never be able to kill them all. There was a new man almost every night, and I can’t … I can’t remember them all. I can barely remember any of them. I fear that … my memories are so blurred that I’m just hallucinating this all.”
“You’re not,” Darius confirmed.
“But what if I am? What if I’m just crazy?”
Darius gently grasped my face in his large hands. “You’re not.”
I stared down between us and placed my hands over his. Sometimes, it felt like I had gone crazy though. I’d had to endure so much shit from my father. What if it was all … just in my head? When I’d confronted him about it the first time and all the other times, he’d denied doing anything. He’d told me it was all a dream, that it was all made up.
“That’s not all,” I croaked out. “After he gave me the poison and his friends used me, they would do experiments on me. He wanted to try to create the perfect specimen out of me, the perfectmatefor other species.”
“Mate for other species?” Darius asked. “No other species has mates like wolves do.”
“He never brought home a wolf,” I said. “Not that I can remember anyway.”
What I wanted to tell Darius—that I couldn’t seem to say aloud—was that somewhere along the way, Dad’s experiments went south. He had used my body too much, but instead of getting rid of me like he had with Mom …
He did something worse.
He had resurrected me as something much more … advanced.
39
the suspicion
darius
Sina had detailed moreencounters than I could count.
