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Maybethe cardinal isn’tLupeRamos’sspirit from beyond the grave, butIsuck in a deep breath to load my lungs with the wordsIneed to say, anyway. “I’mso sorry for whatI’vedone to your kids.Ilove them so much, butIdon’t know how to make things right.”
Thecardinal twists its head curiously and chirps.
“Maybestart with a date?”
Ispin around to face the voice behind me, findingZakwatching me with the corners of his lips turned upward.
Igroan softly, swiping my cheeks once more. “Howlong have you been standing there?”
Hejerks his chin toward the headstone. “Ithink that same cardinal is here every time someone visits,” he says, ignoring my question.
“Ifanyone could visit from the other side as a cardinal, it’d be your mother.”
“Yeah,” he chuckles.Zak’slong hair sways in the warm breeze passing between us. “Shannonat his mom’s?”
Inod.
Heshuffles his weight around, looking off in the distance. “Where’sTy, then?”
Shrugging,Irespond, “InAustinhanging out with some friends while they’re still in town from the festival.Thinkhaving him collect all the sharp objects scared him.”
“Youreally should’ve called me orDree.”
“Iknow,”Igroan frustratedly asIrub my temples. “Ijust…Isaw the blade on his nightstand, andIwanted to make sure it was taken care of right then and there.Andthen we got high, had the munchies, had a bad cry…”
Itrail off, staring at the brown grass and letting the silence hang between us.
“Youknow, maybe things are fucked up with me andDree,”Zakstarts, “butIknow you’ll always do right by our family.EvenifDreeandIdon’t agree with how you go about it.”
“Imeant whatIsaid.Y’allare my family whether any of us like it or not.”
Zak’ssmile is heartachingly gorgeous as the gold studs in his lips spread. “Well, c’mon then—let’s go get a drink.”
Eyeballinghim skeptically,Iask, “Areyou good?”
Hejabs a thumb over his shoulder toward the church, where people are filing out its doors from theSpanishMass. “Justhad communion.Shouldbe okay.”
Myeyes narrow. “Everyday?”
“Everyday,” he confirms.
Despitemy hesitation,Inod. “Okay.”
* * *
Zakis a show-off who speeds away in theHellcat, so by the timeIenter the bar right down the road from his place, he’s already there waiting on a drink.
“Gotyour favorite,” he says over theTejanomusic blaring asIapproach.Thebartender turns around to set a salt-rimmed frozen margarita down in front of him next to a glass with brown liquid and carbonated bubbles.
“Lemmeguess—CrownandCoke?”
“Guesswe’re pretty predictable, huh?”
“God,Imiss predictable.”Ilaugh before taking the first chilly sip.
Zakperks up. “Stayput.”
Heslips off, heading in the direction of a fancy touchscreen jukebox near a pool table.Hefeeds it coins and taps the screen a few times before coming back to the bar.Mischieflights up his eyes as he sips his beverage.
